Saturday, August 26, 2006

Lessons I learned

Sabi ko na eh hindi ko matitiis sarili ko, so I am writing another entry immediately after I wrote the one before this. Promise I will make sense.
I once struggled at trying to understand things about life. I believe all of us has gone through this stage but not many have really made up their minds of the answer to their questions about life. I can just reminisce how I use to soul search with Yas and wonder why things just turn bad despite of our sincere intent and honest labor for things to go as it should. But then it does not, we get frustrated over the outcome and sometimes, the hardest to stomach is that it was done by people that we thought would stay on our side. That was true for my father. My father's infidelity was not the hardest thing about having a broken family it was actually the fact that it was my father's doing, a person that I truly adored as a young boy back then. It is never easy to get in terms with the reality of people failing us by not doing their end of the bargain and just totally disregarding you despite of the effect their decisions will have on you. But then once we are able to understand the situation there are things that stand out, I guess these are my lessons and I'm sharing it now.
  1. We will never be able to control things. What has happened has happened and there is no amount of tears, vengeance, frustrations, self-pity, blaming and all others that can change the situation. It is nice to really feel the sadness of the situation to be able to understand why it has to happen but dwelling on it is a dead end. We do not gain or change anything.
  2. The only thing we can control in this world is ourselves. I remembered how people wonder why I can still smile when my mother died. I cried in secret but I smiled in front of people. I reasoned that it was up to me to decide how to react to any situation. If I allow it to control me then be it but our choice spells out the difference.
  3. Our own happiness is our own doing, what we do with our lives will be our life. The people around us can just feel bad when we mess up but they will never suffer the outcome of the choices we make. As desiderate would put it "Strive to be happy."
  4. Life is not to be understood, it is to be enjoyed and learned from. We will never be able to understand why things turn bad but the truth remains is that the situation has turned bad. Trying to crack our heads in understanding why bad things happen will just cause us more frustrations and more tears but it will never change the fact that the situations has turned bad. Although sad, we just have to accept reality and get on with our lives, it is never the end of the world and more people have more problems than we are encountering.
  5. Finally, it always helps to pray. However we concieve God, life is always easier to deal with when we know that there is someone who controls everything that is happening in this world.

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