Friday, September 15, 2006

Being TOO Honest

Is there such a thing as being too honest? I contemplated on that question after I sent my letter last monday. It was one of those letters that kept me worried fearing that she might get angry with my honesty. Yes I was always honest with what I write to her but with that letter it was just different, I felt that I was just too honest.
I really think that for a person to really know you honesty is the best policy. Not that you will be punished but you simply follow your heart and do not pretend anything. In today's generation, we have come to believe that first impression always last. We stick at it even if in the end we find out that the first impression is really just an impression. I learned that it is better to have a bad first impression but later realize there was more good to that person even if the first impression he creates is not that good. So I go back to being honest. I reasoned that if I was just true to myself people will like me for who I am and that will be the best reason will like you. But then again my letter writing is a different thing, sometimes there is this constant urge to put on a show. Now the letter this week was a confession about how my feelings and what I wanted to do contradict inside me. In one end I sometimes feel bad about not receiving any reply from here, on another she continues to make me smile and be happy about everything that is happening in my life. In this irony, I told her what I felt not withholding anything, sealed the envelope and sent it only to regret it after sometime. I contemplated if my being honest was just too much that she'd hate me for it. I do not know because even if I hate it I also know that it is the only way I should do it, I am totally convinced that I will simply follow my heart and leave it all up to God. I guess the point is my convictions are contradicting with wanting to get the desired results and controlling the situation. I still mantain that I have to be honest and sincere.

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