Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Goal or the Process?

My greatest enemy now is impatience. In the last few months, I have been counting the days wishing that I can do the things that I wanted to do. I thought I have already learned patience but I guess learning it never ceases.

Yesterday, I realized that it was the last day of July. The month is going to change again and it was a good feeling knowing that the time really is moving. As I was trying to fill up my PRT (as in Physical Readiness Test, its a monthly thing to monitor physical readiness), I had to do some push-ups and sit-ups so that I can comply with what is written in that form. If I wait for it then I will never be able to fill up that form truthfully. As I was doing the exercises, I suddenly understood how time flies without me realizing it. I thought that once the date changes, I will never be able to put it back in the same way that I will never be able to fulfill the requirements of the form I was filling up.

The same is true with so many things in our life. At one point we want so many things to happen in an instance and then when we finally get it we want to get back to the time of dreaming. I just realized that when we want things we forget the whole process of getting it. I wonder now if the goal is more important than the process?

As I said I get impatient a lot these days. Like this entry, I hate that the words do not seem to coincide with how I feel. A while ago I started taking another of my long walks. When I get emotional, everything appears to me in a deeper way and I almost wanted to cry thinking about all the things that have happened to me in the place that I was seeing. The truth of the matter is, the reason why I am feeling all this nostalgic is because I suddenly realized how lonely I am (again). I realized that I have been trying my best in the past days not to think about the things that I wanted to do and suddenly all the emotions that I have been ignoring came crashing through me. I found myself dreaming again of the things that I could not have at the moment. This morning, I received an e-mail from one person that I like to receive one. Reading it made me so happy that I hated the fact that I was here. That plus certain events that happened.

Again I ask the question, what is more important: the goal or the process?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

let the goal bring you something to look forward to..something good..but use the process to bring you to it's fulfillment.