Thursday, September 13, 2007

The place where we are one

It's been a while since I had an enjoyable conversation. There have been several times that I just want to talk to people beyond my life as a cadet. I want to talk to them about areas other than the military, I wanted to talk about life as we live it.

I was talking earlier with some of our instructors and it was a rejuvenation of some sort. I was both excited and curious of their lives.

A typical day of a cadet consists mostly of routine activities that we do day in and day out. Life becomes so monotonous that at some point it undermines our very personality. We wake up in the same room, do the same things for the whole day, so definitely we do not talk about what happened to us during the day. The thing there is that we really have nothing to talk about because we share the same life.

This afternoon, I found myself in a company of my civilian instructors, telling me different things that are not in any way related to my existence as a cadet. At one point we were talking about career choices, about plans for the future. One wants to live a luxurious life, another a career in law. The conversation includes the ins and outs of the choices one is going to make in getting there, the implications of such decisions and of course, the fulfillment one get afterwards. In the almost an hour that we were sharing ideas, it was as if I was transported to a different world. It was a world where everyone is living their own life trying their best to reach their goal. In that world, I wasn't some cadet. I was a cadet and they were teachers; all of us want to have the life that we dream of.

I always say that dreams make the people that we are. Our ability to dream determines our courage to face each day believing in those dreams. In the group of people I was with, I did not have to worry whether or not I am going to Mindanao after graduation. I did not have to worry whether the things that I know are good enough to become a lieutenant. In that gathering, we were all dreamers, figuring out how to live our lives, thinking about ourselves and BEING OURSELVES.

The way a cadet spends his life are full of expectations that at some point just drains the very essence of the person that we are. Sometimes we are fed up with being cadets and longs to be treated just like any other human being with all the goals and aspirations that define the person that we are. Once in a while, we get those chances and we become whole again, we become rejuvenated.

Thinking about it now, I find myself back to my real world. I am inside a room full of people wearing the same clothes as I do. All of us are subjected to the same regulation, the same rules, the same everything. But being here and talking to my instructors earlier, I have come to a realization of the very essence of why I am here. As I live my life, enduring it's boredom and monotony, being envious of people who have more freedom, I realize that I am in fact in my place. I am at a place where the sacrifices that I make matter more than my individual dreams and aspiration. I am at a place that even though there are times that I just hate it here, somewhere out there people also have the same worries as I do, they too worry what to do with their life.

After this, I will go back to my room and sleep on my bunks. Tomorrow, I will wake up among the same group of pe0ple. I will then go on with my life and see the familiar faces that I had a conversation with the night before. And then I will realize, just like me we are all the same people. We are in fact all dreamers, living this life and hoping that we'll be good at it.


Anonymous said...

I hope that these kinds of thoughts do not remain constrained in your blogs. A lot of cadets feel so much like the way you do, and I believe that it would be of great help if you discuss these things among yourselves.

You may be right in saying that the cadets wake up in the same room and do the same things the whole day...but with all due respect, I don't agree that you "really have nothing to talk about" because you "share the same life".

Life becomes monotonous not because of routine. I believe that life becomes monotonous because we are not creative enough to find ways to consider each day as new. Perhaps we take things (or people) at face value that we think, what we see is all there is.

One cadet may be similar to another with the way they look, with what they do, or with what they encounter in their daily lives inside PMA. But all of us, civilians and cadets alike, have distinct past experiences and different aspects and perspectives in life that we can only appreciate had we known only to dig deeper into their souls.

You'll never know otherwise until you open up to cadets you least expect to be as profound as you are. You'll never know otherwise until you understand that some cadets may have lives that are as rich and exciting as any other civilian.

I have nothing against you ha and you really don't have to approve this comment...I would just like to share with you my thoughts as I read yours. Thanks.

alex said...

Yes, in fact every now and then we talk about things that are personal or those other than our lives being cadet. But these are extreme cases when we find ourselves in the same emotional state and we let go of our being cadets. You have to understand that not being able to express one's feelings do have its toll, after sometime we do not know anymore how.

I agree with being creative to make our lives less monotonous but with everything that is happening so fast and a very pressured environment, who takese time to be creative on these aspect?

I guess the bottomline is that at the end of it all, we are able to encounter the blessing of being reminded of our humanity and just rejuvenates our spirit and I think this is not just true to cadets, this goes to everyone.

Thanks for the comment and keep on visiting

Anonymous said...

Agree with your bottomline. Let's just hope that the "blessing of being reminded" occurs more often...or better yet, let's commit ourselves to finding our own "rejuvenation" every once in a while.

Perhaps it's just that I am not a cadet like you and it limits my understanding on, or acceptance of, why do cadets have to "unlearn" how to be expressive or be hospitable to their own emotional being.

Expect my 'regular' visit. Thank you for broadening my perspective.