Friday, March 18, 2005

People getting married and getting old

I just came from a wedding. I attended the wedding of an upperclass who just graduated last week and I was in my full dress gray. It was uncomfortable having to wear the tight full dress in the hot manila climate, but it was a proud moment wearing my most sacred uniform for all people to see. Kind of a taste of success something like declaring to everyone that I am a cadet and damn proud of it. Last night, I also spent some time with a few of my friends to Dumaguete and again, one was getting married sometime in June of this year. And then the night before that I had another nice outing with a friend who was also getting married by december of this year, of course plus my brother who will be having his church wedding next month. Suddenly I developed this thought, its only March and so many of my friends are getting married. Is there something wrong with the world around me or am I just in the denial of the reality that I am indeed gettin old. I used to think how corny it was for single men to gather around to catch the garter during weddings and sad to say, I had to join in that "ceremony" somehow realizing that I am indeed part of the group we commonly call "the Bachelors". Although the cadet uniform that I wore kind of gave me the assurance that I will remain a bachelor for the next three years, but that does not change the fact that people already consider me as part of the "marrying group" and honestly its not a comfortable thought, I do not even have a girlfriend what more thinking of actually getting married. And so I sat down and somehow tried to think about these things. I am indeed going somewhere that is inevitable and although I have regained the sense of direction in my life which is some assurance that it is nothing to worry about, the thought is just.... HAUNTING. The truth remains that even if I pretend to be at some age bracket where marriage is not a consideration, the crowd around me reminds me that I should stop and the more I try to ignore the inevitable the more it haunts.....

I know this is kind of a waste of time but thinking about this thing somehow gives goosebumps and I'm sure this is also true to other people.... Well at least I had a good meal and met some interesting people maybe that's a good sign..... I HOPE :)

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