Loving...

Last night, as I was about to sleep, a friend sent me a frantic message about depression. It was one of those times that I was the only one who can comfort her and all I could do was text her. Our discussion came to the point that I have to discuss to her about my preception on love. She said that it was a feeling of some sort that one feels for another, she even used the term "may mga bagay na kinahuhumalingan" in referrence to the person. And so I told her my idea on the subject. That event plus another message from another person who was simply being crazy. Maybe out of her hatred for me, she has completely forgotten being rational and has not realized that she is in fact becoming funny. So I decided to write about my definition of love.

As I go on with my life, my ideas on these things have become more and more detailed. In each experience I am able to gain insights and thus more and more is added to my idealism. So in the concept of love I have come to the understanding that it is a gift from God and it is not something that is from us, it is within us but it is God who placed it and it is in His sole control. In fact, it is God in us. As a young Christian then who was very zealous to practice his new faith, I read and reread the Bible on what it say's about love, particularly the one written by the apostle Paul. It was a wonder that despite of reading it for so many times, I just can not see the point of the definition. Maybe it was because I was trying to equate it to something related to romance in the end I just can not understand it. As time passed I begin to experience God's goodness and that suddenly I just realized that in the general concept of that definition is simply the nature of God. I remembered how I adored my mother for being such a wonderful matriarch who was willing to give it all for her children, swallowing her pride and ignoring her feelings. I remember my Auntie Arlene, who despite of my being so stubborn has never ceased to care for me and has exhausted all effort see to it that I am well. I remember my Kuya, who after I spent a huge part of his hard earned money over some stupid thing, just remained a brother and saw it as an opportunity to teach me a lesson and make me appreciate family. I remember my Nanay Mediong, who in her capacity has become a mother to us despite of all the trouble I placed myself into even ignoring her own personal happiness. I can actually write so much about people that have showed me great love and in the end I realized that love is not just a feeling. Surely someone who treats somebody with leprosy does not feel good treating them(yuck!!!) but what makes them continue to do what they do is simply because of the love they have. Even in romance, I'm pretty sure that not all wives feel good about their husband who snores or maybe who has gained weight, but it is the love in them that sustains them despite of these seemingly unlovable circumstances. The bottom line is it is in fact something that is not of but rather beyond us, beyond we can even imagine. I remember this couple that I know from church. Her husband had all the vices in the world but out of her love, she continuoulsy prayed for her husband. She gave up a good paying job and did what she had to do for her husband. She was asking God to put love in her husband's heart. By some miracle, after two children, a marriage that was so bad for several years, love came into the heart of her husband. Now, they are as happy as ever, a family that I envy, The secret: it was God who came into the picture.

Now why do I say all these. I have observed that for most of us especially my generation, we have come to believe that our life here is based on what we feel. If it feels good it must be right. I wonder how right is my being a cadet when all I can think of is how tiring it is to endure just one day. I realized that it is never about us but it is always about God who gives us this wonderful gift. Our dreams are actually love that God placed in our hearts on something that we want to pursue. Our ability to be human is love that God placed for us to act human. Our ability to love another person is God's gift that draws us to another person. Yes, it is true, sometimes it is hard to distinguish these things but really love is God in action. The reason why love does not fail because it is how God works and surely God never fails. I'm challenging people who read this to open their Bibles and read the text in Corinthians 13 and reevaluate their concept on love.

My prayer is that we gain understanding in the real meaning of love so that we may be able to love as it was intended.