Saturday, December 02, 2006

Something I thought of

I finally got the sense to write something.

Being caught in an animated conversation with a good friend over a meal at Shakey's, I kind of thought of the so many things that are happening in my life. At one point I thought I was at the top of the world and then suddenly I'm lost and frustrated. I was so high in spirits but it was shattered by a news that although I know was coming, I did not know would feel the way I received it when it came to me. As Nicholas Sparks would put it "what you want and what you get are two totally different things"
I have always believed that we always get what we deserve. When I see something that I think I deserve, I go for it not thinking much of what people will think about what I was doing. I reason that if my heart tells me that I will get it, it will be a sin not to follow it. If I do not get it then it was God's will and I try to find his intention for making me like that something and then not giving it t0 me. That was a simple formula that I have really believed in but did not spare me from the frustrations that I know was still to come despite of the strength in spirit that I claim so very often. When I was not considered for this congress thing a couple of months back, my mind kept wondering why it had to be that way, when I know deep in my heart that I deserve it. I found the wisdom later inside Hannah's blog entry. I learned that I was frustrated because I wanted the experience and not the opportunity to learn what has to be learn in that congress. I resolve to carry on the whole point on why there was that congress in the first place. And then this incident.
I still believe now that I deserve this thing. I am believing that there is something I must understand before I will have my chance. Though I feel bad with what happened I know there is something in store for me that will make me a better person.... well in time I will know

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