Thursday, November 08, 2007

Extreme ends of the emotion spectrum

I do not know if to write two thoughts in my head right now is a good idea considering that the two are like on the extreme ends of the emotional spectrum. One is on the happy side and the other is on the sad side. But then to just choose either one of the two is also unfair, for these two things are in fact major things that seem to be in the same level of importance in the way things are with my life. I am stopping now with my romantic episodes, just wait for it to come by again.

A few hours ago, I had the surprise of my life when I was called up to report in my athletic uniform to the Sports and Physical Development Unit (That's SPDU for us, but really its just the PE department of regular colleges). The reason was that I was to begin a sort of grace period before I am finally given my last Physical Fitness Test (PFT) after which judgment day will come. So I went there not having any idea of what was in store for me. I later learned that I was to take a some kind of a mock PFT.

Having recently developed some form of pain on my shoulders after resting with my exercises during the break and then going back suddenly to a rigid physical activity when I got back, I had to deal with more fears as I felt that I was not physically prepared to go through the test. But then again, PMA is PMA and I did not have the choice. The first events are those that I usually pass, the standing long jump, sit and reach all of which did not bother me at all. The feeling was great until the imposing pull up bar stood in front of me. Although I know I have improved, coming in terms with the reality that this is the event that might just prevent me from graduating next March sent shivers inside my body. As I gazed at the bars, my heart was pumping and I was sweating despite of the cool weather at the time. Well I do not wish to dramatize the whole event because by the time I can no longer raise myself up enough to clear my chin over the bar, the count was already six. That's six from the zero that I had the last time I took the same exam. That means that I am actually three repetitions away from passing the test which translates that I am basically three repetitions away from seeing the President shaking my hand and handing me my diploma. For the first time since I started failing the event and thinking about it, I realized that I can do it.

So I am done with the happy part, this is the sad part. Having heard about stories of how death can be so sudden, it doesn't really stick to people since for most of us we try to ignore the reality of death. I mean talking about it somehow evokes a kind of taboo but every now and then we are confronted by it and suddenly we realized that life is just a mist that is here not but can be gone tomorrow. Last Monday, I had to say goodbye to my classmate who died in the V Luna General Hospital. Its sad when we hear the usual one minute prayers dedicated to those alumni who die but its sadder when a classmate dies. "More sadder" is when that person was not just an ordinary classmate, he was a squadmate. Well, I do not seem to have the energy to write details about it since its really just sad but I promise to write a really good one, a proper tribute to a mistah who made life in PMA more bearable just by being the person that he is. To my classmate who is now in God's Hand, I will surely miss your songs, the jokes that I sometimes have to analyze to be able to laugh and of course the lovable person that you are.

Well, that's basically it, I think I will be able to write more often now with the classes resuming and life going back to normal. I love you people...


Anonymous said...

I heard that a cadet died of respiratory track infection...there was a plebe who also died of pneumonia...did they both contract their illness at PMA?

May God bless their souls and grant them eternal rest.

bless said...

hello there! I am Bless and have a blossoming friendship with a PMAer from Batch Sanghaya.

He's already a Captain based here in Davao.

I hope you would feel better soon...

Mubisita permente,