Singing Continued

I do not intend to write another entry but the thought is not leaving my mind without being written.

I wrote earlier about singing and I realized that singing is the most personal form of expression we can have where all the pretensions are lost and we are truly ourselves. I can not think of right now what are other expressions that have this distinction becaue even with writing something can be hidden. I just had so much fun practicing for tomorrow's song and hope that tomorrow will be another blast....

Till then...

When I begin to sing

Although I knew how the activities for today will be, I chose to watch Winter Sonata until midnight last night. The result: I had to drag myself at five in the morning to finalize fixing my things for the barracks inspection, be sleepy in parade and then hate the fact that I did not have enough sleep. I know its stupid but I was just carried away when Min Hyung finally learned that he was Joon Sang... Yujin's lost love. But of course all that was remedied when I was able to catch a few hours of sleep and then getting ready to practice for the praise and worship at church later on. These days, I have somehow regained my passion for singing in church since we have been allowed again to practice every saturday.

My Christianity was somehow triggered by my love of singing. Even as a little child, songs have become another way of making myself feel good. I love singing at church, singing on stage or just sing at the top of my voice inside the shower. When I first started listening to my Christian friends, it was partly because I love to sing with them. I learned my first Christian songs because I wanted to be part of their group. Of course, with it came the realization that they do not just sing the songs but it was an offering of their talents. When I came back here to PMA, there was just one opportunity that I was given the microphone and then it became natural.

Singing and faith can to a certain extent be a comparison. For one a person has to have at least a little bit of faith to sing in front of people. In singing, especially when I close my eyes, it is as if I am detached to myself and it is just my voice and my God. In the same way that faith is also an expression, just like singing. I really believe that faith can only be manifested by actually doing it. It can not be quantified into words, it is through action. Singing is just a word unless one begins to open his or her mouth and make a tune. The more we sing the more we become better at it, just like faith, it can not be nurtured unless we practice it. I can think of other things but that is beside the point.

When we sing we only have ourselves to rely on to. We can not ask someone to do it for us, the kind of noice or music we produces is solely because of us. The lesson here is that singing is an individual thing that nothing can change it. It is perhaps one of the few things that we can really call as ours. This goes to say that singing can be a reflection of who we really are. It can echo our true feelings and no matter how we try we can never lie through it. I am not making some sort of a campaign to propagate singing, I am sharing what are the things in this world that can not be altered by many of existing technologies around us. The songs that are popular now is a reflection of what the world is and no matter how much people try to hide themselves through the songs it can not be possible. I do not know if many of us have been aware of this but the voice of the people are actually songs that reflect what kind of people we are. I guess singing has covered just about everything, as diverse as the kind of people there is nowadays.

I do not how to end this entry, perhaps this is something to talk about. Maybe the next time we listen to a song or someone singing, we can find a thing or two about that person and just maybe we can begin to understand things more because of the songs. Well, I will go on singing....

Memories are blessings

I had to be spontaneous my mind is so full of thoughts that feels so good that I am hoping that if I just allow my fingers to type away I can capture everything that I am feeling.

I was looking at picture posted by my friends in friendster. I saw the picture of my high school classmate who is now with (as in the boyfriend girlfriend thing) someone whom we use to call as dentist. And then I saw my old class picture taken way back when I was in fourth year high school in school year 1997-1998. I remembered in that picture all of the boys decided to coordinate closing the last buttons of our uniforms near the neck. I was at front and with me was the PMA cap that my brother (who was then a yearling) gave me. That cap was very special to me because it represented my dream of being a PMA cadet, some dream that is the reason why I am now wearing a cadet uniform. I went on and on until I saw the picture of the most beautiful girl in the world. She was smiling and it made my heart leap as I realized how beautiful she is especially when she smiles. I do not know, I was just so amazed. As always, I do not have a clear direction when I log on to the internet. I just jump from one website to another hoping that something will trigger my creative instinct and allow me to write something. Grabe naiiyak na ako the more I look at her pictures, Am I becoming abnormal?

Let me be serious now...

Why is it that some memories just make us cry? When I was in third year high school, I remembered receiving a letter from my mother who was in the States. I do not remember what it said all I knew is that as I was trying to sing Alamid's Your Love, I begun to cry. I cried because somehow the song got to me and all of a sudden I missed my mother so much. When she died, I was not sad initially. I learned of her death when I was a two week old plebes still undisposed with what was happening around me. When it finally settled in, I cried in my sleep asking God to give me one more chance to hug her, just one more chance. I remembered how she bid goodbye to me around a month before in some shant somewhere in Cebu. She was telling me to make something out of my life, be good always. Unknowingly, that was to be the last time I will ever talk to her, the last time to hug her, the last time to see her alive. Every now and then when I feel so down, I remember that time and gather strength from the aspirations of a mother who loved me so much.

So how does that relate to the pictures that I saw a while ago. I do not know if you can follow me but pictures are memories, and memories are manifestations of blessings. If I was to think about the so many things that happened to my life, I can just be amazed by the blessings that abound me despite of the so many trials. It makes me cry to realize how I have fared in this game we call as life plus the so many things I can look forward to with the assurance that everything will go well. In a few days time I intend to write something about things I am thankful for in my life. It will be a tribute for something... you just have to guess what that something is... its getting nearer....

Forgive the organization of the thoughts, as I said I was being spontaneous.... I love you people

A 7 minute blog

I do not have much time to really write. My watch says that I have around 7 minutes. The whole day was so packed with so many activities and there was just no time to spend some time and really write something. So just bear with what I can come up with the little time and the speed of my fingers.

My legs are aching after running the 5 kilometer route after resting for so long. It was to begin the series of roadruns that we will have in the next coming days that is part of the two week long Leadership Enhancement Program that all of us are going through. In the afternoon we reviewed the battle drills and had fun throwing "grenades" at the plebes and observing how they react. Then just moments ago, I had to go through this session where I was to discuss important subjects regarding training to my fourthclass squadmates. Tomorrow will be an symposium about the Philippine Air Force as if they can convince me to join them instead of the Army. I really just hope that I can find time to do things that I want to do like writing my letters and blogging.

A friend of mine called this morning and asked me to write about the Project ISLAM. I gave him a copy of the article about the project that was to appear in the next Corps Magazine. He wanted me to have something shorter as his requirement is only about 1000 words. I am thinking of making the article more personal touching on the angle on being a soldier, a Christian and of course the effects of war. I'll see what I can think of

Well time is up... babush....

BS and random blogs

Is there a limit to one's BS as in Bilib sa sarili? I just came from this forum that was supposed to inspire me to become a good soldier once I graduate. Indeed, I was given a glimpse of the pressures that I will be faced with but I hated it when it became a question of pointing out to the audience that he is just so good, the speaker's BS makes me want to vomit. Although it is true that his achievements are commendable and impressive especially while still being a junior officer, but all of it is lost when he monopolizes the discussion with his greatness.

About a week ago, I was tasked to write for a magazine regarding the exploits of this officer. I have heard a lot of his accomplishments as he was my instructor last summer but I was only to learn the hard facts after a summary was given to me so that I can do the write-up. It was completely awesome. The thing is, I realized that sometimes it is not just whether or not you have something to be proud of, the kind of person you are also matters. It is true that some people have good credentials but it is not just those credentials that will speak for the person but also the king of person he or she exudes to the others that he or she will be dealing with. Just imagine this, we were shown a documentary made by a photo journalist. It highlighted the realities of war in Mindanao. It wasn't really about him but his exploits composed a big part of that documentary. When he showed it to us, most of the video was played at 1.5 speed for us not to understand what was happening. When it finally came to the point where he was the subject, he just pressed the button and it was played at normal speed. I hated the fact that he denied me the opportunity to appreciate the whole documentary as a whole simply because it was more imprtant to highlight how good he is. I hated that I do not understand the connection between his exploits and the war in mindanao. In the end, I hated that it was more of a showcase of how good he is rather than inspire me to emulate him.

Last night I started to rant about my frustration of not being able to go to L--a because I will not be going on break. In the past days, it is this thought that haunts me. Due to the recent things that are happening, I am beginning to imagine more and think of more innovative ways to reach out. The tangengot comment does not matter for that person basically has no idea what is happening and he is entitled to his opinion. As the days go by, I am beginning to think that I could do so much if only I was going on break. But then I have to just contain myself and save all my imaginations at the right time. This may not be something that I am happy about, but I know that in due time I will understand the wisdom why things have to be this way. I am still in my trance being so happy about everything despite of the break that I will not be able to avail.

My ears still ring but it getting better, maybe tomorrow it will be restored to its full hearing capability... I remember one quote that I would like to share... It is not about what you did, it is about how much love you placed in what you did...

Till then people...