This morning we had this some kind of informal talk about coup'd'etat. Being in PMA where one's idealism is cultivated and caught amidst controversies concerning it's graduates its not a surprise that we talk about thig shing a lot. The firstclassmen (the graduating class) has been recalled to PMA apparently to prevent possibilities of recruitment outside and for the first time in several years the Corps is complete at Fort del Pilar at this time of the year. In the previous years, the firstclassmen only go back to PMA weeks before graduation, but right now it seems that they will be here until they finally shed off their full dress... or not, anything could happen. So the talk was about sbumitting to authority, giving as an insight of how it is to submit to authority even if it is bad because any authority is established by God and it is God who will take it away not man. Well, for people like me who puts so much weight on what the Bible has to say on things that I do in my life, that puts directions to my idealism. Anyway, coup or no coup I really do not mind, I'm just doing what I have to do study and graduate, that's the time I'll try to think about the problems of my country, in the meantime I have to be the best to prepare me for what lies ahead.
I had a series of reality checks these past days. A few weeks back, I already started to feel something was wrong but I just do not know what it is. It was very unnatural for me to feel so many things that are not good so I reckoned that something is just not right. And so yesterday as I sit beside a friend who came to PMA to visit, I felt guilty and realized what was wrong. I just had to be in touch with reality, I had to be back. The truth is when noone seems to criticize you for a very long time, it becomes something that will cause you to forget that you are human and that you are dealing with humans. I hate to admit this but I really have become like that. It is not only enough that we have good intentions because the end does not justify the means. To be able to do something good, it must be right ALTHROUGHOUT. I am emphasizing the word althroughout because that is what I forgot. I realized that it doesn't mean that if my intentions are good I can basically do anything for that goal, I realized that it is also important to do everything right. Again, it is not only the goal that is important but the way upon which that goal is pursued. It is only by understanding that concept that I began to be sensitive with how people feel. Talking with people that I admire, I ralized how life can be confusing if you lose your sight on the things that are really important. I have allowed myself to be in touch so much with my feelings and just letting it direct my actions not realizing that there is the mind to balance it. There is self-control that is the fruit of the holy spirit, there is also the responsibility to guard the hearts of people agains feelings that they are not supposed to feel, and there is also the need to let go of the things that hinder us from doing what God has willed for us to do. Now, I understand that its an all systems go for reawakening my spirit and being in touch with my creator.... well that's just life is and that's what makes it beautiful.... I'm feeling good about this.....
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