Monday, January 30, 2006

Violent Reactions??? C'mon Fans kill 'em

I do not know if my feeling is right as I write this entry. First, it is the intention of this write-up to at least explain my side over something that I wrote in this blog that caused a violent reaction from a very good friend. I may not exactly make this friend of mine feel better but I hope she understands that there was no intention done and I am sorry for whatever pain I have caused her and other people if there are any.

This is about the entry when I vented my feelings over something that happened. I do not want to go into the details of that event now but I guess let me begin with how I am as a person. For those who know me personally, I can be the loudest person, even annoying top some who have been used to men that are the shy and silent type. That is aggravated by the fact that I am suppose to be silent and all those stereotype considering that I am a cadet of the Philippine Military Academy. I can have all the opinions in the world even at things that people do not normally pay attention to and I say what I think. That is the reason why this blog has been so helpful to me in coping up with my type of personality. I always long for sensible conversations where I can say what I feel, tell them what I think about things and in the same way reciprocate that by listening and giving their own thoughts. In my present world where I have to shut my mouth, not talk about things that I feel bad about and just let them be, it is a wonder that I am still here. Most people say that there is so much emotion in what I write and I reckon that it is because so much of my emotions can not be released so it is vented when I start to write my thoughts. Whenever I feel that something is just wrong, I keep it to myself and then write about it, either for the Corps Magazine or in this Blog. I basically do not care if the people do not like what I say as long as I say it, if they want to react then they can react, violently if they must but never ever tell me to stop expressing what I feel. I may be wrong at some point but as I said everything that comes out here is an outburst of what I feel and mind you I do accept when I am wrong and at this moment I am accepting that I was wrong in putting out names of people even those that I do not really know, from now on I will not put names here.
So, at some point I have hurt people with what I write but I expect that the people that know me should be the first one to know that I was never the person who acted on feelings, even if I felt so bad about things, I always try my best to be reasonable and find out the whole story before even acting. I am feeling so many things every now and then but I understand that in this world it is not about feelings it is doing what should be done even if sometimes it just doesn't feel good. I also know that I do not have some kind groupies who will kill people that I feel bad about based on what I write. I know that the people who visit this blog are just fascinated by what I write, they do not even react, they just keep on reading and reading but I would really like to know what they find when they read the things that I write. And so the point is... violent reaction? Then go ahead, be violent if you may but never ever take it personally, the point of everything that is written in this blog is expression. I do not intend to malign people, or to be libelous against them, I just wanted to be myself, the LOUD ME.
Again, I'm sorry for the people that I have hurt, for the people that I have been libelous upon, even for the people who are annoyed, I'm sorry but just as I am free to express what I feel, you may do so, make your own blog, noone is stopping you. And to that person that was hurt, I'm very very sorry, you know that I am not good at asking for forgiveness but just the same, I think you know me that well... text me when you are no longer angry....ciao!!!

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