Friday, January 06, 2006

What dreams may come...

This is not a review of the movie that starred Robin Williams. This is just a thought that I had in the past days, the usual, the things that I kind of thought of that I am not able to tell the people around me.
Anyway, last night while I was ironing my uniforms for the next day, my roommate asked me if I really was in love. You see, these past days he has been calling me an addict. Not so long ago, I kept on calling him an addict because he was so restless with his cellphone. He can not stand not looking if there was a message and he can stare at it for a very long time just to wait for any text message. At that time, I think he was courting his SECOND girlfriend. Maybe he has observed that on me now. And thinking about it I just might be-- an addict that is. But then, I answered his question in the negative. I reasoned that one can convince himself that he is in love to a beautiful lady. I can claim that I am in love with a beauty queen for the simple fact that they are beautiful, as a text message would put it Men fall in love through the eyes while women through the ears. The truth is nowadays, I find myself imagining things that I have not been imagining before. One time during breakfast, when it was still dark, I was enthralled by the sun rays that was little by little creeping inside the mess hall. I imagined how good that sight is when viewed from the top of Tower '66 (its actually an 80 feet tower where cadets practice rapelling), but more than that I could now imagine viewing it with another person. And then just during my Research class a few minutes ago, I was dreaming about dedications for my graduation message come 2008, about the Ring Hop (it is a traditional formal dance where the graduating cadets honor their loved ones by giving them the Mini Class ring usually it is given to either the fiance or the mother). I do not want to go into the details of this imaginations I am having recently as it will just incriminate me, but really those imaginations has bearing in my answer to the question of my classmate. So I answered, I am not giving a definite answer to his question. I feel so good about the things that are happening but things will happen in due time and when that time comes it will be so perfect that I'll be so happy that allowed it to happen that way. But then he asked me, aren't you afraid of what might not happen because you are doing nothing? That question actually bothered me, I realized that he may be correct. The discussion did not go further but later that night as I lay on my bunks, I contemplated in the question that stung me. Finally, I started to pray perhaps praying was the thing that was the answer to his question, it may really seem that I am doing nothing and yes I am afraid, but when nothing seems to be certain-- in the end it's about Faith, it's about God who will do what He has to do. I was short of crying; totally afraid, but deep inside despite being fearful I knew that it was really about faith. Yes, dreams are there for us to treasure, for us to have meaning in our lives, for us to be happy about living, but in the end dreams are actually reasons for us to have more faith knowing that in this world we are living nothing is certain except in God who loves us so much who will do what He has to do for us to understand that living is not about us controlling out lives, it's about faith.

1 comment:

anna said...

i'll answer your roommates question for you. the answer is yes, you are really in love... becuase you're beginning to imagine mushy things which you never thought of before. it's a sign, i'm teling you. hehehe..