Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Just imagine

The events in Naga lead me to think about things and little by little have come to understand other things as well. Last night I was writing a letter and it has been a while that I wrote a letter with so much emotion. Although I write letters so often these days it has always been this spontaneous outburst of things that are in my mind of trying to relay messages to people hoping to reveal my personality even across distances. I have always said that I hate the fact that my being cadet undermines my ability to relate to people and somehow develop a worthwhile relationship with them. But then in the past days also, this outbursts have not really turned out the way I expected it. Many times being sincere and honest has often been misunderstood as being judgmental, self righteous, know-it-all, conceited and all other similar terms. It might be because of the fact that some of these remarks are not welcome or that they might just be right. But then in my present isolated state what can I really do? Imagine relating to people when all you have is a pen and a paper. Imagine dealing with people by just words written in some stationery and just crossing your fingers that they will understand the message. Imagine when despite of the so many things you try to show yourself through the words that you write, people just become silent. Imagine when people read what you have to say but do not really react and tell you what you feel. Imagine when in good faith you just have to believe that all is well because you tried your best to reach out to people. Imagine when you finally get those rare opportunities to really interact with these people after several letters, it is there that you realize that something was wrong. Imagine that because you did not know a thing, you just stare at the opportunity not being able to do anything because at this time something was wrong and it can not be fixed soon. Imagine going home frustrated because you lost another opportunity to show people that you care for them. Imagine that upon that realization you just have to deal with the situation through another letter at a time when all your emotions are so confusing and everything is just sad. Imagine when at the end of the day you choose to believe in the magic of things when you are not even sure if people are really listening, or rather reading. Imagine when all you really have is that hope that God is always good, that Love is patient and that we sow what we reap. How would you feel?
I learned that it is true, with people you just have to believe. There is no proven formula to do it but the important thing is you do it. At the end of the day when all is said, it really doesn't matter people will be people and it is up to the person to make the most of every opportunity that comes their way. Well, life can be interesting even frustrating like how I feel now, but then I just continue to believe on the good things. I continue to pray to God each day that somehow, in the not so distant future it will all be well for me. I really hope it will come.... soon.

1 comment:

anne said...

ang tapang mo to write your life story in the net knowing na marami ang makakabasa nito...know what,punta me sa grad and i'll request my bf na ituro ka...la lang...para at least makita kita n person...i admire you dude...keep it up