Thursday, February 02, 2006

Pursuing Dreams

I have finally finished reading a book after more than a month of somewhat losing interest on reading and even if I do like the book I just finished, I always hate it when I finish reading it. I hate it because I will have to find another good book to read and in my situation, being in this some kind of prison, that is hard to do. But then again, a good book just gives me insights and and Paulo Coelho (yes people, I just read Zahir) can really give his readers a lot to think about. And so there I was thinking what my Ithaca is or my Zahir or my accomodator. Ithaca is the name of the place where Penelope was waiting for the love of her life Ulysses in some story. Zahir, on the other hand, is something that you want to find which occupies your whole being; accomodator is something that hinders a person from achieving something. But then my entry is not about those things, this entry is about pursuing dreams. You see, the question really is are we persons who are shaped by our dreams or are we the ones who shape our dreams?
When I was trying very hard to go back to PMA I did everything I could to go back, I went to people tell them my concern and practically begged them to hear me out. Eventually, I found myself back at PMA, but then although I am sure that I am happy where I am now, I really do wonder if was it my dream that led me to this place or was I the one who shaped my dream that brought me to this place. It can be a confusing question that maybe most people wouldn't want to answer. I always mantain that dreaming is what makes us go on each day despite of things that do not turn out well. Just this afternoon a friend said that the reason why we hold on to things in our life is that we do not believe that beautiful things can happen twice and somehow I fell that this two things, dreaming and holding on to things, connect. I do not wish to crystallize anything in this entry as I too am confused. I just realized that sometimes it is just like the poem aptly entitled Ithaca, here it is:

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.
Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.
Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Well that is how I would think, maybe its about the journey rather than the goal itself. Sometimes when we are so passionate with what to pursue, we forget what lies in between start and end. I remembered Forrest Gump when he was telling the story when he ran for about three years about how he described the sights that he saw, the sunset, the magnificent landscape and all that, I often wonder if people are like that. You see when we pursue something, we just pursue it head on not realizing that in our journey towards our goal we get to experience things that we would have never experienced if we did not pursue that something, sometimes I even think that maybe that is the reason why the things that we pray for take some time to come, we just did not pay attention to the events in between. Well, I ame becoming more and more confusing, I think that is for people to think about.... :)
By the way I am going to Naga next week for the Luzon Wide Press Conference, I hope I win but really I am looking forward to have fun with new people and new friends........

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