I basically do not know what to write. Usually, I browse around the net to stimulate my mind and come up with my idea. After sometime, I started reading my previous entries only to realize that the last two had been too emotional, very heavy if I may say. I feel that somehow, those entries do not really reflect my personality because I am a happy person. I love life and I enjoy going through it even if everything is not always pleasant. And so I decided to write something happy, something that will change the atmosphere of this blog, something to refresh the soul.
When this blog came into being about four years ago, I was merely somebody who did not have anything to do. I was discharged from PMA, I do not have money for school and I have no idea what to do-- I was basically a bum. With little technical know how and a little confidence in my english, I started a website. First it wasn't in this format, I was merely experimenting on my discovery of the photoshop and imageready. Little by little, I came up with content and finally I had a website. My first visitors were the people that I chat with. When I chat with them I tell them to visit my site. I do not know if they were telling the truth when they tell me their comments but it was them that motivated me to keep on improving it. After sometime, I became addicted to the internet that it was all that I was doing even in the wee hours. I learned html from there and had little knowledge on flash. On a flight to Cebu with my father one time, I saw an ad of a Computer School in a magazine that they gave out and web design interested me. Upon my return to Manila, I convince my father to give me money to enroll in that school. That was to be my first regular instruction in computing. In time, I began to deal mostly on my feelings, writing it as if nothing else mattered. When I feel bad, I write it, I practically wrote my life and to be honest it was from the blog that I began to gain confidence with the way I write, little did I know that writing will become useful.
In the three or more years that I have been blogging, much have changed. When I started, most of what I write was about my frustration of not being able to go back to PMA. I write about the many misfortunes I had practically begging people to give me another chance to go back to PMA. But I also wrote about the changes in my life. I wrote about finding God in so many places. I wrote about friendship to people I meet and I even write about my crushes. I practically wrote everything. When I was finally allowed to take the entrance exam again last September 2003, I waited eagerly for the results and it was from there that I made one prediction that came true. A few days before my birthday, I wrote that I will march back to PMA come 01 April 2004. To make the long story short I did. In my entry two days before reporting for duty as a cadet again, I wrote a conclusion promising that once in PMA I will find a way to blog again.
The promise came true after almost a year. The rigors of plebehood must have made me forgot. In one January evening, as I was browsing through the internet, I went to my old site and read. Suddenly, I was nostalgic over the vastness of the emotions I felt. I began to appreciate my state and that I was thankful. I decided to start blogging again. The lay-out that you see now is a result of a project that I did for my computer subject on which I got a 19.8 out of 20, I simply do not know what the deductions were.
Today, I have come to realize how much have changed. How life has improved and how I matured. When I read my previous entries, I can just reminisce at all the memories that I had thankful to God for all the things that He has done. This blog is not just an expression of me as a person or as a cadet. I would like to believe that more than being my words, this is a testament to the goodness of God to the life that He gave me. I hope that inasmuch as God has become evident in the so many experiences that I had, in all my ups and downs, in all my joys and frustration, the same God has also used these experiences to reveal Himslef to your life as well. This is a celebration of life. As Desiderata would put it "...with all its shame, drudgery and broken dreams; It is still a beautiful world; Be careful, strive to be happy..."