Monday, June 19, 2006

The other people

Most people who know me well would say that my personality is so strong tha some people may get intimidated when I assert myself. I have had many experiences where people just hate my guts because I seem to know it all, very noisy and brutally honest. But then, I must say that its not something that I intend to do. I am just the type of person who is not so much affected with the way people see me. The friends that I really become close with are those who know me inside and out, who understand that I am not really a bad person only someone with annoying habits. And so I come here, don the cadet uniform believing that life will be well with the way I am as a person.
Unlike when I was a civilian, I can just walk away from people that do not like me, but then in PMA its a totally different story. In my plebe year, I had to submit myself under the authority of people who do not like me, harder still is that these people simply do not understand the way I do things. They assume that I just some stubborn person who is a threat to their upperclass ego. I wonder how they still feel threatened when the stripe they wear simply explains why I can not do anything against them. But I survived, when my first stripe grew, I reckoned that I individuality is the way to do it even inside this Academy. I encoutered some difficulties but I still managed and in time I was to wear another stripe. Now, I have three plebes under my watch and I wonder if the same principle still applies.
In the previous years, I can afford to alieanate the people that do not like the way I do things. I can survive with little friends. But now, can I alienate the people that will determine the success of how I do my job as a squad leader? Can I allow individuality affect my responsibility to my subordinates? The question haunts me as I aspire to do a good job at the responsibility given to me. As I put it in the latest Corps Magazine, responsibility just changes a person. And it is changing me big time that I am a little bit apprehensive on how things should be done. Suddenly I do not have that much confidence whether I can accomplish the task set before me.
In the way we deal with things, I realized that now other people matters. Even if they do not determine the outcome of it, how they react will affect the outcome of any task. We are in fact living in a world where everything is so close-knit that you affect another consciously or otherwise. When I begin to do my duty, I am haunted by the effect I have on people especially on the question of that effect being a good or bad one. The bottom line of it all is that when responsibility takes over the people around is already a consideration especially when their life depends on the decisions that you alone make. But then again, its not as if I have a choice. The reality is I have to succeed for the success of my being a squad leader will affect the future of three cadets who like me wanted to take advantage of the PMA experience. I hope
News bits....
The mid-year issue of Corps Magazine is out....
We're back at Academics... I survived summer camp..... YAHOO!!!
Its a brand new start... I'm crossing my fingers... grabe second class na ako.... nagsimula akong magblog dito plebo pa lang ako... time really flies so fast...

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