Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A rundown of things

I have so many things in mind right now after not updating for several days. To be able to cover all of these thoughts, I will just make a rundown of the things that have happened, what I thought about it and just blog away as I always do, I promise to make sense.
A few days ago I read Cito Beltran's column in Philippine Star which he entitled Ordinary Pilipinos Lang. It was something about how we as a people consider ourselves and out countrymen as inferior thereby reducing the opportunitites of getting the best of what we are supposed to get. He pointed out that because we stereotype others as Ordinary Pilipinos Lang, we tend to reduce their capabilities and limit their contribution to many things in society. He pointed his own experience as a mere "talent" when he started as a broadcast journalist. He did not have benefits like the regulars and his only consolation that he was appearing in TV every now and then. It was good that he became the Cito Beltran that we know now but he wondered why he was merely a "talent" when the talent he acquired was something he studied for four long years in college. He then pointed out other workers that are mere contractual for the primary reason that they are Ordinary Pilipino Lang. They could have given more to their jobs if only they were not underestimated. All this goes back to our labor laws which allow these practices. These then allows businesses not to come up with good working conditions, just compensations and good benefits which boils down to lack of responsibility on the part of the employer. Putting it simply, they are treating these Ordinary Pilipinos (lang) as mere milking cows and worse, our government allows it.
I have contemplated on the matter of whether or not I am really in love or I am just in love with falling in love. It wasn't easy because I was a bit confused of whether or not I feel I am in love because of the girl or if it is because I just wanted to be in love. Honestly I wanted to be in love for the longest time but I always tried to be reasonable and not just decide without thinking things over. The reckoning point was one instant that still strikes me about this girl even as I try my best not to be overtaken by her. It was one morning after a very tiring day finishing the newsletter we were making. I was wide awake early in the morning maybe because of the body clock that I have developed as a cadet. I went out of the room while everyone else was still asleep. The sight at Caliraya was perfect, I was overlooking the mountains with the sun still peeking getting ready to rise. After sometime, I went back to the room and she was sleeping on the bed. She was covered in blankets and the little opening in the window allowed the rays of the sun to enter the room just enought to light her face. She was just so beautiful. I do not know if you have felt this but there are just some instances that you know you are seeing something that is divine. That is how I felt at that time. While the rest of the world was sleeping, I felt God talking to me through her and I started to weep. I went out of the room and said my prayer... Lord, guide my heart. I do not know if my explanation is valid but then again I know that I am not making it up, I do not expect people to believe me because this is entirely a personal thing I am just blogging about it to illustrate the point that Love is always from God. Hay nako, kinikilig ako...
I am being problematic again with my plebe. Earlier today I simply wanted to haze him just to correct him. I was just hopeless, I wanted to teach him a lesson so badly. But then again I remembered my vow and somehow I thought that I wouldn't be proving anything to him. I am losing my patience here maybe when I talk to him later I will just have to think of something... I do not know God please help me.
Well, this is the last week of Academics. By monday next week, I'm through with my only final exam only that I am not going anywhere outside PMA, I am confined. I am already contemplating on the things I can do. I guess I will just blog about the things that will happen while the rest of the Corps will go on vacation. Sorry people, no stories about books I will buy, people I will meet or places I will go to. I will be confined (literally) to pine trees, plebes and perhaps my never ending letter writing....

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