I had to be spontaneous my mind is so full of thoughts that feels so good that I am hoping that if I just allow my fingers to type away I can capture everything that I am feeling.
I was looking at picture posted by my friends in friendster. I saw the picture of my high school classmate who is now with (as in the boyfriend girlfriend thing) someone whom we use to call as dentist. And then I saw my old class picture taken way back when I was in fourth year high school in school year 1997-1998. I remembered in that picture all of the boys decided to coordinate closing the last buttons of our uniforms near the neck. I was at front and with me was the PMA cap that my brother (who was then a yearling) gave me. That cap was very special to me because it represented my dream of being a PMA cadet, some dream that is the reason why I am now wearing a cadet uniform. I went on and on until I saw the picture of the most beautiful girl in the world. She was smiling and it made my heart leap as I realized how beautiful she is especially when she smiles. I do not know, I was just so amazed. As always, I do not have a clear direction when I log on to the internet. I just jump from one website to another hoping that something will trigger my creative instinct and allow me to write something. Grabe naiiyak na ako the more I look at her pictures, Am I becoming abnormal?
Let me be serious now...
Why is it that some memories just make us cry? When I was in third year high school, I remembered receiving a letter from my mother who was in the States. I do not remember what it said all I knew is that as I was trying to sing Alamid's Your Love, I begun to cry. I cried because somehow the song got to me and all of a sudden I missed my mother so much. When she died, I was not sad initially. I learned of her death when I was a two week old plebes still undisposed with what was happening around me. When it finally settled in, I cried in my sleep asking God to give me one more chance to hug her, just one more chance. I remembered how she bid goodbye to me around a month before in some shant somewhere in Cebu. She was telling me to make something out of my life, be good always. Unknowingly, that was to be the last time I will ever talk to her, the last time to hug her, the last time to see her alive. Every now and then when I feel so down, I remember that time and gather strength from the aspirations of a mother who loved me so much.
So how does that relate to the pictures that I saw a while ago. I do not know if you can follow me but pictures are memories, and memories are manifestations of blessings. If I was to think about the so many things that happened to my life, I can just be amazed by the blessings that abound me despite of the so many trials. It makes me cry to realize how I have fared in this game we call as life plus the so many things I can look forward to with the assurance that everything will go well. In a few days time I intend to write something about things I am thankful for in my life. It will be a tribute for something... you just have to guess what that something is... its getting nearer....
Forgive the organization of the thoughts, as I said I was being spontaneous.... I love you people
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