Thursday, October 19, 2006


Finally it loaded. It took me around four clicks on the refresh button before the window finally appeared correctly.

I again spent the whole day in front of the computer typing my script. I just hate it when I have to force my creativity out of my system. It was some kind of an on and off routine, one moment you are oozing with ideas the next its just dry. I hate that my desperation to finish the project has to go to a point where I am already forcing myself to write. I am relieved that I can finally just allow my mind to be free and let the ideas flow without applying force to it.

I was thinking of deleting Tita Liza's entry in my shoutbox but I guess eventually people will find out... Yes it's my birthday on the 21st and I thought it was going to be a secret. Of course, I know Tita Liza and her whole family loves me dearly, if I have known her a few years back when I made my list of the 21 people that changed my life, she'd be definitely included. I do not know if it was some kind of a ritual I have developed but I kind of started making this list of things on my birthday. I particularly remembered my 21st when I wrote about the 21 top people that changed my life. After a few days, some people were complaining that I did not include them in my list. For this year, I am thinking of top 24 things to be thankful about. I have a lot of things in my mind right now and I do not know if it is already 24. When October 21 comes, I will just write and compose my thoughts in the process.

I hated it today as I was typing the script. There were three of us that were excused for the activites primarily to do the script yet I spent most of the day writing it by myself. I do not want to lash out on them fearing that I might say something bad. I am thinking of just finishing it and talking to them once all the stress is out of my system.

Another growing concern right now is the magazine. We were told last night that it will be our responsibility with 6 more weeks before realease. The sad thing is nothing has been started yet. I have been conferring with the other people but we still have to meet formally to finalize things and really start working. If I do not go on break, I will just start writing the articles and maybe conceptualize on my own... malay natin I can think of some bright idea. And then there are the plans of going to Davao. I want to go there because one, I want to see Daddy's Camp and two, I've never been to Mindanao. A friend of mibe wants to come along, he wants to ride the C130. I'm really hoping I can go on break.

I'm sorry if I can not write something serious, my mind is just trying to recuperate. I am thinking now of beautiful thoughts, people I miss and just happy moments. I do not wish to continue writing anymore, I'd rather dream about the beautiful things and hope for a better year. I'm thinking of something poetic inside my head right now, I'm letting the thought be immortalized, here it is:

The beauty that abounds this place
Is just too much for my taste
I can not help it but cry
as I look and sigh
The things that come my way
I hope they are here to stay
Although hard
Still I am praying mad
This poem is for everyone
Not just for someone
My mind is confused
It has been over used
Yet I still long for tomorrow
Hoping and praying hard to lose the sorrow
I love you world
I thank you God
Tomorrow will be another day
Another opportunity along the way
I end this while it's still easy
This is becoming messy

Baliw na kung baliw... sa sunod na lang...

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