I did not know that today would be so sad, I just lost another squadmate. As a leader, you can not help it but really get to know your subordinates. For my part, I took it upon myself to personally involve myself with them. I wanted to know deep in a deeper level, not just an upperclass-underclass thing, but on a personal note enough to say that we'd still be friends even if we are not in the Academy. I am proud to say that I have been successful in that, especially those under my command. I learned that to be able to really do your job, I must treat each of my subordinates as real people and not just mere subordinates who will follow my orders. I felt that if we were connected in a more personal level, I will be able to really do my job to them and lead them in a way that will transcend even if we are no longer in the military organization. Now with this recent development, I was teary eyed not knowing what to say to my yearling squadmate who will shortly leave me to serve his suspension from the Academy.
I do not wish to put the details on why he is leaving. I would like to say that he is one of the underclass that I am proud to say I can rely upon. I am not saying that because we have become close in the few months that we were in the same squad, its because I see in him a potential leader that will be an asset to the Armed Forces if he graduates. I feel that he is a victim of one wrong action, an action that will definitely change his life forever.
Personally, I feel that his fate is unfair. I know him too much and he is not one such person who is bad in any way. I could even say that he is more fit to stay here than me. But then again things happen and now he is suspended. I guess part of what PMA teaches us is to take responsibility for our actions and although sad I know he is taking responsibility for what he did something that I do not know I can do if I was in the same situation as he is. I will also have to contend with the feeling of loss, the feeling of loosing one of my men and the acceptance of the reality that I will be faced even as an officer in the future. I guess being attached to the people that we work with can have its disadvantages especially when I just have to follow orders from my superiors. I am choosing not to allow my personal feelings to interfere with the perspective that I have to see what is happening right now. I am believing that what is happening now, although sad, is for the better. I am believing taht God knows what is best for my squadmate and I am trusting that all of this will become something for God to teach each of us the things that we have to know. I am sad but I am believing that there is something good that will come out of this.
God, teach me to accept what is happening and help me to be victorious even throught this circumstances... Lord, Please help me...