Monday, April 02, 2007

Comments that ring

This blog entry sprung from the comment made on the entry before this one. I just realized how things can go off hand.

I wonder now how things as simple as not eating some food that is offered can undermine the kind of soldier I will become. I wonder how the simple issue on doing something for the sake of politeness can boil down to the kind of person I am. I wonder how all this things connect to the kind of convictions I have. I wonder further why a simple ranting about events that happen to my life (about something that annoyed me) can be a basis of the kind of person I am. Or is it just another case of someone waiting for me to say something wrong in this blog and then use my own words against me?

Just to reiterate, the event that I was talking about was a simple thing that I hated. It wasn't about moral convictions, it was more of releasing the sad feelings I had about that event and at the same time getting my message accross to the people that I might have offended for refusing their offer to eat something. To clear things out, the reason I wrote that in my blog is because I do not want them to misinterpret me (they read this blog) by my refusal for they are people that I deeply care about. I would have not experienced so many of my joys as a cadet. Without them supporting me and giving me all the tender and loving care I need, I live a miserable life. And so I ask again how are these things entirely connected to the kind of soldier I will become and to my convictions as a person?

As a writer, I do know that the words that I write reflect the kind of person I am. The ideas that I present are little pieces of my convictions and the things that I consider as important. This blog has been a vehicle of so many of these ideas that to a certain extent I could say that my life has been written for the past five years throught this. But then, I must say, that this blog does not give the right to people to make judgments on the kind of person I am. They may not necessarilly agree with everything that I present but then they are entitled to that. I do not really care if they consider me as some prick who is so loud in his blog for the simple reason that they do not really know me and the most important thing... THIS IS MY BLOG. If you can not handle what I write then STAY AWAY.

Now on the aspect of me becoming a good soldier... YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY IDEA. I am declaring it now that I will be good but despite that you can choose to believe me or you can conclude that I am just trying to please people. But the truth of the matter is you can not do anything if I will be good or bad but the good thing is that I am assuring you that I will be good. I will not burden myself with the anxiety of thinking what people think about me but I will simply do what I know is right based on my convictions as a person. In the end, I will be judged not on how likable I have become but who I am as a person in the sight of God. If you really care whether or not I will be good don't harass me, instead guide me and pray for me.
This was fun...

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