Its confirmed, 2Lt Vinluan who graduated two months ago was ambushed and died. That makes 8 PMA'ers who died since April of this year. I do not really understand how I feel right now. I could just feel this sense of deep loss everytime we here the dreaded one minute prayer just before we eat our meals. For the eighth time now, I just have to contend myself with the reality that the moment we get out of this hallowed grounds, we may be the next ones that the cadets that will come after us whose departed soul they will dedicate another one minute prayer to... and then it continues, life goes on as if it's just a natural occurence. In reality though, its not as simple as that. When we continue our lives, we understand that our life here is not what it is all about, we realize that at the end of the day, we will be engaging ourselves to a life where not everyone will want to do, we will try our best not to die performing our duties as protectors of the land. At least we can try.
I developed a deep sense of loss when I learned about this recent news. It was barely two months when I saw him sang the alma mater song one last time as a cadet, and then the rest is history. One time, I was arguing with a classmate about something that he insists on doing even if it was kind of wrong. I listened to his reason and said just one thing, when we go out here our decisions may mean the life of the soliders we are leading and if we do not decide well, we will forever be haunted by the what ifs and the thought of a father or husband lost because of our decision. Well, now I felt that truer when I listened to the deafening silence as each cadet say their one minute prayers to a fallen comrade. I felt sad knowing that when the time comes I, too, will make decisions that will dictate whether a soldier following me will live to see another firefight. Its an inevitable reality, something that I will just have to deal with.
For those who do not understand what I am saying, they can just go on with their lives rant about alleged corruption of military men, brutally criticize the failures of one military unit and campaign for the abolishment of my alma mater. I am not saying that that they should stop doing what they do, I just hope that to a certain extent they give us the benefit of a little sensitivity. I hope that before they try and criticize, they think about the hundreds of lives lost (that they never heard about) so that they can enjoy their right to criticize anyone they please. It saddens me that they never bothered to hail those who left their families to be able to perform their duties as protectors of this land. It saddens me further that they go on with their lives not realizing that the very reason they can go on with their lives is because of soldiers that chose to fight for their interest.
And so, life continues, each of us will leave our lives and it will be our choice whether or not we will touched by the sacrifices of those who have laid their lives for us. As for me, I will not even try to forget the lives of this people. It will be because of them that I will try my best to make good at my training hoping that someday I may say that their death was not in vain, I pray you do the same.
