Letters and thoughts

I received several messages yesterday. One was a snail mail from a friend in UP and the other was a long friendster message from a friend. Aside from the fact that my friend from UP was implying that Calculus has taken over me and that the subject has sucked all the sense I have, the other friend who sent the friendster message said otherwise. Well sometimes I do not know who to believe. I refuse to believe that Calculus has sucked my sensibility since the reality is I have been blogging a lot lately and so far I do not think that any of my sensibility was lost on my previous entries. And so as I try to compose myself in this blog, I begin to think about letters and its messages.

I have always been fond of letter writing. When I was younger, my mother use to supervise me and my brothers when writing letters to my father and to my grandparents. I think that habit did not leave as I can not remember an event that I did not like writing letters. When my mother was in the States, I practically write to her everything that happens to my life, my crushes, the things that I did and sometimes even when I am angry. I remembered writing a letter when I was so mad at her that I was crying while writing it. Eventually, I decided not to mail that letter as it was too emotional so I just placed in somewhere in my cabinet. A couple of months later I rediscovered this emotional letter and was so amazed with the things that I wrote on that letter. I eventually got around mailing it to my mother and I remembered that she was deeply touched with my honesty on that letter that when she called me up after that she was so emotional and she felt so sorry for causing that feeling to me. And then there was this lady that I met during a National Youth Forum when I was in High School, coming from Dumaguete that was so far from Baguio where she came from, I started exchanging letters with her and eventually that led to a very wonderful friendship. I consider that episode of my life as one of the most memorable and up to now I still smile thinking of that wonderful friendship I had with her. I realized how letters have actually nurtured some of the best relationships I had with other people. One friend once told me that I should keep her letters so that when she becomes great I can sell our correspondence for a huge sum. You know what? I realized that letters become memories just like pictures. When we write a letter to a friend or somebody we have some kind of emotional attachment, we are able to immortalize the feelings through the letters that we write. Somehow the advent of the internet, text messaging and other means that simplify communication has caused letter writing's popularity to decline but then I really believe that nothing beats the pen and the paper plus an honest heart.

I like this particular concept when I am here as a cadet, when the people that I care for are miles away. Having my own cellphone might be the most convenient way to communicate but still nothing beats the personal touch of a carefully written letter. When we write letters we are actually sending a part of ourselves to somebody hoping that the same feeling that we felt will also be felt by the receiver as he or she reads that letter. Being a cadet, somewhat imprisoned in this Fort, the ability to be able to share your deepest sentiments despite the distance is perhaps one of the best fulfillment one can get. I believe that the soul that is reflected on each stroke of hand as a letter is carefully composed. I personally feel that a letter in all its simplicity is the most and perhaps the best way to express oneself, in the end it is the person's heart written on paper.

And so I conclude. Letter writing for me has bridged the gap between people separated by a distance so great. It does not require any explanation because no matter how intricate the world has become it is the human heart that will always be successful even with letters. When the heart speaks and the body follows it becomes a perfect harmony such that whoever hears the music can't help it but to sing or dance along it's familiar tune

They're back

After almost one week, they are finally back. Maybe everything will go back to normal, the usual study periods, the usual academics, I'm beginning to worry about the so many projects that are due in the days to come plus my deficiency in Calculus. At least I already found my ATM and tomorrow I will be mailing a Corps Magazine to someone hahaha... I'm hoping that the stars will be on my side..... Well, I'll write something philosophical the next time around for the meantime, I'm kind of happy and its just something that came out of the blue, maybe seeing my upperclass was the reason, but I really do not know well... at least I'm smiling maybe that's a good sign for the days ahead........

HELP!!!

Nawawala ang ATM ko wala akong pangload.....

News and other things

Since most of my upperclassmen are now in Manila for the Independence Day parade, I had the rare opportunity of being able to watch news on the TV. Of course, knowing the kind of atmosphere in the government now is not something to be happy about, compounded by alleged destabilization plots, I kind of enjoyed knowing the things that are happening outside my realm. Being able to know these things gives me that guidance to do more of my duty here as a cadet rather than be mediocre and waste the people's money.... Well thoughts and more thoughts.

On other matters, I am expressing my disgust over one article that is in the latest issue of the Corps Magazine. I really believe that media is an important element of society. I also believe that even in the military when obedience and protocol is the way of life, the freedom of expression should be cultivated but in proper avenues that will not destroy the very foundation of the organization. Inasmuch as I brutally react to ills of the organization that I am a part of in the way I write my opinions, I also understand that first and foremost I must do my role as part of this organization learning from both the positive and negative so that as my influence becomes greater and my responsibility becomes more tremendous, I will be guided by this things; doing the positive and putting an end to the negative. My role now is to learn how it is to lead positively, whatever my opinion is, it is my attempt to express myself and be true, but it does not in anyway affect my performance of the soldier of the land. With this in consideration, I daresay that even in the military institution, the use of the pen is of much responsibility as that of leadership as a whole.

The article I am complaining about was about the position of an upperclass over a recent maltreat case here in the academy. The writer who was the upperclass' company mate somehow used the respectable Corps Magazine as his vehicle to defend the upperclass which I think is now in the process of being discharged. That is the first thing that disgust me. It's a cheap way of defending oneself over a very controversial case. This is also not to discount the fact that the magazine is to be distributed even to civilians who do not have any idea on the prevailing doctrine of PMA regarding maltreatment. And of course, the obvious, what does the people have to do with this case? Secondly, it is assumed on that write-up, that the upperclass was telling the truth and the plebe was definitely a liar on the premise that the upperclass had years of experience living under the umbrella of the Honor Code as a cadet, while the plebe was a cadet only for two weeks, which makes his word weak when it comes to truthfulness. The article is simply implying that those who go to the Philippine Military Academy are not honorable and that they learn to be honorable only in PMA which is very much false. He disregards the at least 17 years of value formation that the plebe has gone through as a civilian which is very much unfair. And finally, the article alone is full of bias and hatred which is not supposed to be a character of someone who is involved in responsible journalism. My point is this, I do not know the circumstances behind that controversial case nor do I care to find out. I pity the upperclass who is on his way out because of such case. But, whatever the outcome of that case maybe, it is bad, as in very bad, practice to use a respectable publication as a tool to expose seemingly fallacious arguments that I think will even degrade the quality of opinion the Corps magazine is expected of. It is not for any cadet to make the matter more controversial because the case is still under investigation. I do not side with any of the parties involved and I abhor maltreatment in any way, but the point is that when we try to use means that are improper to promote our interests our opinions, this becomes a tragedy and something that is not expected of a cadet who is paid by taxpayers more than five hundred thousand pesos a year. I'm talking to the opinion editor about this, I just can't stand that the publication I am writing for can publish a kind of article like that.

And finally my gripes are over. If you want to read the article I am referring to just find the latest Corps Magazine, I am not glorifying that article by placing a copy in my website....

The things that you read

I little while back I had the chance to read the latest Reader's Digest. Of course, considering that I haven't read for quite sometime, I mean read those that I like to read, I devoured it. I realized how much I have been missing not knowing who Charles Cullen is and that there are actually scientists who call themselves Glaciologist. Well, after having some laughs and a mixture of emotion on how the drug dixogin (or doxigin???) can kill people, I started to think about things, you know the kind of thinking when I eventually come up with my bright ideas and appear so wise at things. Considering that the firstclass are going to Manila and Cebu in the next hour, I kind of shifted my mind to the life I had when I came here. Actually, I envied them ( the firsclass) since they will actually be going someplace where I have so many memories, either in Cebu or in Manila. It brought me to think about the "wonderful" life I had as a carefree civilian. Going anywhere I want, doing whatever it is that comes to mind. Laughing boisterously without caring about the world. I reminisced the pure joy of just being yourself and not being part of this rigorous routine where so much is expected of me. A life where the world is not waiting for me to commit a mistake but rather I am just some nobody who is simply a part of statistics. A life where I do not have to worry about learning rectilinear motion and trying to beat the bugle sound wearing my best uniform. Of course, a life where I can simply ignore people that I do not like (like annoying upperclassmen) But then everytime I complain about this things, I realized that nobody really forced me to be here. In fact, at some point they tried to shoo me away from this place but I insisted on coming back and now this is what I got. When I think about all the things that I have given up just to have that Cadet before my family name, somehow I'm confused. But later on I understand that the feeling that I have is only because of the loneliness I feel trying to cope up with my day to day routine. Maybe because of the feeling that I am missing so much in the world outside this halls, to think I do not even have an idea what Full House is all about. But then I also realized that the little joys I gathered from reading the latest Reader's Digest to blogging in front of a government owned Compaq computer kind of allows me to think about the things regarding my life, regarding my choice of, as they say, "serving the country." It allows me to understand that the dreams are not that easy to achieve. It allows me to realize that rectilinea motion whether I like it or not will have to be learned so that I can be what I dreamed to become. Life is an adventure and my adventure now is somehow becoming lonely but then it is still an adventure and its for me to enjoy it.

So, reading actually has allowed me to get in touch with my self and somehow retrospect between my life as a "carefree" civilian to being a man in uniform. It is a way of reminding me of the reality of life. Finally it is a way of reminding me that I just need to stop thinking too much, it gets really really lonely. Well, as I end this piece, maybe I'll feel some relief, I hope....