Debating

I spent the last two days as a participant of this years Inter Company Debate Tournament. I had three debate and sadly, I just almost made it to the semi finals... I mean almost because it was at the tip of my fingers. But then again, the consolation is that after the debate that almost gave me and my partner a semi-final berth, one of the adjudicators (the judges) talked to me and told me that she felt sorry for me because I was good only that I had the misfortune of summarizing a debate that did not present good arguments (I was the Whip by the way - the whip summarizes the debate). I really do feel bad about what happened since I wanted to proceed to the semi finals, I was hoping that at least I could give my company something that they can be proud of, but to no avail I failed. So I retreat to my blog hoping to put out all the emotions that I simply do not want to hold on to. Tommorrow, I go back to the usual routing of classes and all this feelings will just be forgotten... I hope...

Somehow I felt an urge to write a continuation to my short story that was published in the Academic Issue of the Corps Magazine. It's funny how ideas can just come up and somehow lead to something I want. I'll keep on sending this magazines to that girl and just maybe something good will happen out of these stories that I make... hehehe

And so I'll end here for now, tomorrow I will be sending the Corps Magazines that I have to the people that I think deserve to receive it. A few more weeks and I'm going on vacation.....Ciao!!!

Past relationships

I was reading a blog of someone I used to be with earlier and I can't help it but to write something about what I read. I do not know how to call the relationship that we had. For one, I felt that it wasn't something that ended well and that even now, there is a certain part of me that kind of regrets being with her. But then reading her blog kind of reminds me of exactly why I feel for her in the first place. I mean, the feeling that you are just so convinced that this person is so fun to be with, that you would want to share youre dreams with her, that you basically want to live life having her with you. Of course, the relationship was concluded in a not so good manner. Things happened and before we knew it we were doing things as if we never really loved each other at all. Now looking back, I coulr just reminisce the things that I liked about the person, at the same time dread how it ended. Every now and then, I think about her, I kind of miss her. I try to picture in my mind the lost treasure that we once cultivated. Every now and then she sends me a text message and its seldom that I reply, but although I do not really want to go back to her at this exact moment, I kind of feel like I lost someone great. There are just some things that we have to do. At the back of my mind I could simply smile about the things that have happened, the wonderful memories. But it's over now, I look forward to what lies ahead of me. Sometimes I find myself lost reading her blog, picturing a wonderful lady that I was once with, remembering the happy moments that we shared, perhaps reliving the smiles that we had a couple. Maybe when I find another girl, I'll try to find something that feels the way I once felt for her. I simply do not know what happens next, I just hope that she becomes happy with her life now and that maybe someday in the future we realize that we have both become better people because of the wonderful experience we had loving each other.

Last bastion of decency

I felt so emotional today during one of my classes. It was my leadership class. In this class, we are taught about -- leadership, of course. The subject is some sort of our major subject. Anyway, my instructor, a young army captain who had been in the field was casually telling us his own experiences in the field and relate it to our lessons. We were discussing a topic about Inspirational Leadership when he segued over the topic on the current crisis facing the Philippine Military Academy. As I said in my previous entry, there were all sorts of reaction from all cadets when the story about an honor violation of a first class cadet appeared in the Philippine Daily Inquirer yesterday. That night, our Company Commander briefed us about that news report and he said that the Superintendent, from whose statement the story was taken from did not talk about that case. The truth is the media bloated that whole story from an example given by the Superintendent to make a point regarding the new Honor Code that will soon be implemented here in PMA. What appeared on the papers was a story of an honor violation and that the new Honor System was just a detail. There goes another media blitz all for the sake of readership and in the end the reputation of PMA is damaged. But then again, its not actually a damaging story. I mean, that just goes to show that Character Development in PMA is of great significance. Now going back to my lesson in my Leadership class. My instructor simply said something that gave me more idealism. He said that the reason why all these people are so much interested in destroying PMA is that it is the last bastion of decency in the Armed Forces or better yet of the Philippine Society in general. The rest of our society have not realized that they have succumbed to the ills of our society. They just gave up and allowed this disease to swallow them and consequently perpetuate it. With all the so many issues facing our country today, people wondering who is telling the truth, there is one place where young men and women are trained to live in the highest order of honor and that is why they choose to attack it knowing that inside it's halls the idealism of Integrity, Honor and Ethics flourish. No amount of attack can really destroy the morale of our young minds. Yes, perhaps we really are the last bastion of decency.

"My honor is my life, take my honor and my life is gone"
-William Shakespeare-

Just another blog entry

Just this morning I was one of the first in our company to read the news about the cadet who was caught stealing cellphone load from other cadet's cellphone published in today's Philippine Daily Inquirer. Well, it seems that PMA is always in the news these past days and the sad things is that almost all of this news are not that good. Of course, many were not happy about that news item considering that for most of us we consider honor cases secret, we seldom talk about these things among us and we want honor violations dealt with in the most discreet way possible. This is done to save the guilty person the humiliation once he gets out. You see when one is found guilty of an honor violation he is asked to resign from the academy, and this act deems him an honorable person for taking responsibility for his actions. But then again, with this recent media glitz, it will just be a matter of time when the media finds out who the person is and aside from the fact that the person fails to graduate, he has to face the humiliation brought about by various opinions from people who surely do not know much about PMA or the administration of the honor code to its cadets. I, too, do not know who that person is and I really do not want to find out, I'm just happy that the honor code works.

The other sunday, I had the rare opportunity to listen to a very good message in church. The speaker was an invited pastor from the church I was attending way back when I was still a part of the civilian world. I admire the preachers of that church for they really inspire people to follow God. That is what happened to me. You see, I really haven't been a good Christian for a long time now. Suddenly, I just forgot. I realized that I haven't really assessed my faith and the way I am living it especially now that I got what I want and that I am so pre occupied with the things pertaining to cadetship. I remembered several years ago when I simply do not know what to do with my life and all I wanted was to go back to PMA. I used to cry when praying and focused all my efforts into being a good Christian. I was part of the church ministry and I could say I was doing well. When I was a fourthclass, I used to wake upe every 5 in the morning to have my quiet time despite of the hectic schedule as a cadet. Then suddenly, I forgot, I simply haven't realized that I have lost to complacency and getting what I want. The message that I heard led me to recommit myself to the things that I was so committed about. Right now, I could just imagine how much work I should do to go back to the stage where everything depends on the Lord. I hope that the people who are reading this blog will pray for me regarding this things. I realized that despite of the so many issues confronting me, the most important issue is the issue on one's relationship with God. I just had to be reminded.

Well, with barely a month of academics, I think it will just be a breeze. That's it for now....

PMA under siege

Last Sunday, I had a privilege to hear BGen Gudani speak in church. He spoke about ingredients of success in life and he spoke of several other things, one of which was his scheduled attendance on the inquiry regarding the Hello Garci controversy. And then Wednesday came, the Superintendent spoke to us during lunch and from there we learned about the sudden issues that surround our dear Assistant Superintendent and Assistant Commandant, both of which has been relieved of their duties as personnel of the Philippine Military Academy. Then finally, this morning the Commandant spoke to us in the mess hall regarding the false reports that there was a mass walk out on the cadets because of these recent controversies. The media was allowed to film us to give proof that indeed all the reports that came out are just mere imaginations of the fickle minds of some people. Well, what do I have to say about all this things? I know that our regulation specifically sanctions those who make opinions publicly that do not have explicit permission from the Superintendent but then again this is not something that I think will violate that regulation, to present an opinion is the same thing as what I do when I write for the Corps Magazine.

First and foremost, I have to say that I look up to the Generals that are now in control of the PMA. I admire the Commandant because I really feel how so concern he is with how we will be as future officers of the Armed Forces. I must also say that I also admire General Gudani. I see him every sunday in church and being the outspoken person that I am, I oftentimes chat with him regarding things, in fact he calls me by first name. The truth of the matter is I believe that what General Gudani said was true. We are supposed to give him a testimonial parade and review tommorrow for his retirement and it was cancelled because of this recent events. Having known this man personally, I regard him as a role model an epitome of a true soldier. Well, if you think about it, this person has everything to lose and nothing to gain because of his revelations. I see in him the courage to stand by what is true irregardless of the circumstances. Some people will say that my young mind is too innocent to meddle with this things but then this is something that will say a lot about how I will be when the time comes that I am faced with difficult decisions. Each day as I go on with my training, I am faced with instances where I have to choose between the easier wrong and the harder right. I have to remain steadfast on my convictions irregardless of upperclassmen who do not respect one's personal opinions regarding things. Here, I have to decide for myself once and for all what kind of person I want to become and then pursue it no matter what the circumstances are. Sometimes I think about things, about hard choices that I will be making, about considerations that may involve my life, the lives of the soldiers that I will lead, their families and my own family, and believe it or not I have come to realize that doing the right thing sure is hard. I pray that when the time comes I will be able to muster enough courage to say the truth regardless of the circumstance. I hope people will come to realize how the truth can rock mountains even those so powerful, even the presidency......

I hope I'm not getting myself into trouble....