Difficult times

Today is a difficult time. All cadets were recalled back to PMA because of the current political confusion. With the whole cadet corps intact inside Fort del Pilar, we basically do not know if the rumors are true. Early morning the Commandant of Cadets, who proudly announced that he will be the next Superintendent, talked to us about our roles as cadets and as future leaders of the Armed Forces. His words still ring inside my mind "During dark times, you should be the light, when there is doubt you should be the hope." Strong words coming from an admired General. with the second phase of Intramurals coming up next week plus various personalities visitng PMA over the weekend, it would seem that everything is normal. But then, in an institution where the whole Filipino people expects so much, with its alumni occupying the limelight in the recent destabilization plots either for it or against it, what is really happening?

I do not know. The media has been very strange to me this days. Except for the few occassions that I am able to browse through the news either through the newspaper or over the internet, I do not have a clue. My instructors are telling me stories about the present scenario and I can just imagine. What I do know is that I will only believe my superiors. I can not even text my father to ask about the situation since its unauthorized. But then, I have to make up my mind, I just know that I need to have an opinion on this, not because I want to meddle on these issues but because for me to be able to make a stand, I just have know the details and decide where to put my convictions on. Maybe I'll try to be less serious about these things in the coming days, I just can't help it but wonder how all of these will end. I am looking forward to a lot of things and I just hope God will save my country...

Continuation...

I just came from class ang I can not help it but to just continue writing. My previous class was Political Science and my teacher was someone who had been teaching at PMA for a very long time. Our discussion eventually led to other issues concerning us today until finally we reached the topic of those four PMAers who escaped from their incarceration. It can be eerie when he talks about the personalities when they were still cadets, I could imagine how it would be in say 10 years from now when the same teacher will tell the cadets then of how I was as a cadet. I do not know if he is disappointed with how his students are doing right now but I think he is kind of worried of the fate of the four.

I lost all the interest in writing about what happened in the Press Conference after hearing my teacher during class. I do not know, I just felt weird especially when he was talking about making a difference as officers in the Armed Forces. I think with my teacher his motivation to still teach cadets after all those years comes from the hope that someday his students might just make a difference and be happy knowing that he was part of the molding of cadets like me. That is just how it is really people always hoping that at some point something good will just come out of what they are doing, that's dedication, that's commitment. His words kind of motivates me to be good. In fact when we were dismissed he just reminded as that the way to do it is simply being good for the rest of out lives.... that's just very inspiring... BE GOOD.

By some twist of fate...

I was just really passing time when I wrote my last entry, nothing to look forward to, just the normal routine when lightning struck. When I went back to barracks, I was informed that I should report to my Tactical Officer but since it was almost noon mess then, I decided to go to him after eating lunch. There was no rush I was just looking forward to taking a nap after eating and then practice swimming afterwards. But then in the formation, I was called again this time I went to my Tactical Officer immediately informing me that I was to go to the University of Baguio at 2 o'clock to represent PMA in the Regional Tertiary Press Conference. At around 4 o'clock I find myself listening to a lecture about feature writing and eventually competing against 13 other schools. The next day I was informed that I got 2nd place in that contest and that the feature story that I wrote will be published this coming sunday at a local newspaper. See it's lightning.... Now I am preparing to go to Naga by February to attend the Luzonwide Press Conference and represent Cordillera Administrative Region.... Well that's just fate... anyway I still have class I will write about the event later....

Updates!!!

I tried to expirement in my Friendster account last night, although it looks more like my blog I don't quite like it. I kind of imagine a site I saw way back, I sill have to look for the images to put and then I'll change it again.

Last night, I had this craving for Pancit Canton. It's normal really, our company boodle bar (our little "sari sari" store inside barracks) never rans out of this product, the whole company actually consumes boxes of this in let us say a week. In one boodlefight, the minimum we cook simultaneously is about 10 which will be good for round 4 to 6 cadets. One time I remembered we cooked something around 40, good for around 20 cadets. You see pancit canton is becoming an identity of the cadets. A day after we came back from Christmas break around 2 weeks ago, we gathered for Pancit Cantin and I just remarked to everyone, "nasa PMA na talaga uli tayo."

Anyway, there are 63 more days left before I go on break for the summer and then second class ako. Biruin mo ganun lang pala kabilis ang panahon. Dati nangangarap lang akong bumalik ng PMA ngayon ilang tulog na lang I will be on my third year. Of course there are still too many things that I still have to experience and I am just becoming excited by the day.

This morning I woke up in rage. I just had to vent my anger on my roommate who is just plain and simple.... masama ang ugali. It's not the first time actually its just that through the days I mean years that he was my room mate I have learned to deal with him, even my other two room mates. I think dati nasabi ko na yung inis ko sa room mate ko. Imagine natutulog pa kaming tatlo at sa anong katarantaduhan ang naisip nya binuksan nya ang ilaw so what happens nagising kaming tatlo. The point is wala syang pakialam kung natutulog kami as long as he is able to do what he wants to do. In PMA, kahit 5 minutes na tulog malaking bagay na yan and to think pwede nya namang buksan yung mga study lamps para hindi magambala ang kanyang room mates. Hindi naman talaga yun lang yun eh, ganun na talaga ugali nya wala syang pakialam sa ibang tao as long as magawa nya ang gusto nya. Sa galit ko sa kanya kanina lumakas tuloy ang boses ko at pati kapitbahay naming upperclass nabulabog. Minsan nga nagkabiruan kami nung iba ko pang room mate, naisip namin na baka yung room mate namin na to ang first casualty ng class once we graduate at ang babaril sa kanya... hehehe sundalo nya. Kahit ako siguro baka mapag isipan kong barilin yung ungas na yun. Grabe to think naisip nyang mag sundalo when it is all about camaraderie. Well, I just hope he learns what he has to learn and I pray that he won't learn it the hard way or when it is too late. Mahirap kasing pag sabihan ang mga taong ayaw magpasabi.

I am basically just writing what comes to mind passing time. Ilang minuto pa ang nalalabi before my next class at 1045 tapos non kain na naman tapos tulog tapos swimming na. Mag prapractice na ako for the swimming events that I will be competing for BBEAL (and ibig sabihin po nito at Baguio-Benguet Educational Athletic League). Maganda na rin yung magprapractice na ako para lumakas na ako feeling ko nagiging baboy na ako... well wala lang talaga akong ibang masabi.

Grabe, surprisingly wala akong binsabasang libro ngayon at wala pa akong intensyon na basahin ang gabundok kong libro na hindi ko pa nababasa. Kakaiba na to, biruin mo the books that I bought last break nakatambak lang sa study table ko nagiging true to the word na sya... as in DISPLAY. Well siguro pag nagsawa na ako sa kaka day dream at kaka sulat ng kung ano ano maispan ko na ulit magbasa.... well tama na to at kung ano ano na ang lumalabas sa utak ko... baboo.....

Judgmental???

I do not know where to begin. I realized now that sometimes I just have to keep my opinions to myself. I felt that I was helping by telling people what I think about them but some people are just happy with their lives that it is none of my business really if I find something worth an opinion about them. It's their life and whether or not I agree with how they live their life it is still their life. The thing is, I have come to trust my feelings regarding things and maybe that is why I did not bother to have second thoughts at saying it to people. The realization came about after having to defend myself, and be hated along the way, to somebody I had no intention to offend but offended because of my opinions. I always thought that honesty is the best policy but now I realized that honesty is a policy only when asked, not when you volunteer the information. Now with me here in Baguio, I wonder how to be friendly to somebody who has already branded me as judgmental, conceited, self righteous and so many other not so good qualities. It's hard to restore friendship from distances, but with people especially those that we care about we just can't give up especially if it was your fault... well that's just how things are, a natural phenomenon that just needs to be fixed.