Random and spontaneous

I'm beating the bugle call I'm doing this experiment ngayon mabilis naman ako mag type kahit ano na lumabas sa utak ko isusulat ko basta ganun lang....

Natapos na yung project ko sa research... ay medyo lang pala kasi ginagawa pa nung partner ko yung isang part... nagulat ako kasi biglang nagfriendster ang isa kong friend na matagal ng hindi nagparamdam sa akin hindi ko lang alam kung galit sya sa akin or something... sumakit na ang katawan ko because of yesterday's PFT as in Physical Fitness Test pero sa awa ng diyos pumasa naman ako... ano pa kaya... namiss ko pamangkin ko at nakakainis kasi sa dami ng ginawa ko ngayong study period hindi ko man lang napanood yung gusto kong panoorin na movie but at least napanood ko yung I will always love you na movie kahapon.. ang baduy may papunta punta pa sila ng states puro kabaduyan naman... biruin mo ang yaman ni richard guttierez nagawa nyang papuntahin ng states si angel locsin... ano na kasi nangyayari sa mga pelikula ngayon.... oops time is up tumutunog na ang trumpeta... baboo

Another tough day

I thought the day today was to be very bad. I woke up 10 minutes before morning mess (breakfast) beating the buzzer dressing up and rushing to the formation area when the uniform is BDA (its the one you people usually call fatigues and the thing with this uniform is that it takes time to wear it since the combat boots takes time to tie). I was almost late and then I saw the plebe that I hated also almost late when he should have been in formation 30 minutes before plus the fact that he had a compliance to me that he ignored. And then in the mess hall he does it again and I'm beginning to think that hazing was fine. It was a good thing that a classmate stopped me from doing anything. Waking up in the wrong side of the bed usually sucks up all your patience. And then comes economics class where I thought I was to be given a zero grade for a major exam that I still haven't taken. My instructor was not looking at me and I hate it because it seems that my fears were true. Well, at the end of the subject she told me that I can still take the missed exam only that I was to be given a delinquency report for not taking the exam immediately. That was in fact my first sign of relief and I thought it was to be a bad day. Then in my Physics class the major exam results were given and I had a 16.7 out of 20 which was good by the way then had a lesson exam that I knew I had a good score. Then I went on drill this afternoon again seeing the plebe that I hated but luckily I made it through the day without doing anything bad to him.

I was just trying to relate my day, it was fun though as I sit now in front of the computer recalling what happened. I had a variety of emotions in one day plus the so many letters that I made earlier which somehow eased out some of my unexpressed emotions. All in all it was a good day.

My mind is dry now I'll stop writing, I have a long study period ahead of me with two papers to be submitted tomorrow. I just hope I can sleep early so that I can wake up early the next day.....

My Prosti Story

I wrote a story about a prostitute I met last December submitted it for the Corps Magazine's Alumni issue... It was rejected. The thing with this story is that I wrote it in Tagalog. I was trying to experiment with the language and see if I can also be effective in writing in the national language. But as I said it was rejected and somehow I felt bad about it. When I competed at the Naga Press Conference I decided to write about the same prostitute and it landed me the 10th place for the whole Luzon. Of course, the version I wrote for the competition was in English but nevertheless I feel they are the same; both of them give justice to the life of a young prositute who was eaten up by a system of passive people who simply did not care. In my feature article in Naga, I said that this woman was cheated by people like you and me, cheated by the opportunity to have a better life because we simply are selfish, we just want to have what we can get out of people even at the expense of their humanity. So I am giving justice to this prostitute by posting her story I hope that by my narration your life will be touched the same way she touched mine. I will try my best to write it the way I wrote it during the competition.

Life is not fair.

Oftentimes, I hear of so many stories emphasizing this point. I hear my family, my friends, my classmates, even people that I do not know just complain about the so many injustices one can experience in a lifetime. For my part, I can begin a never ending sonata of ranting about life being unfair. One time, I joined this contest, prepared for a long time and gave it all I’ve got, in the end I lost. Later on, I found out that the contest was rigged and no matter how good I did, there simply was a predetermined winner. I complained but to no avail, the perpetrators just got away. They did not care how I really feel, they just did their thing and left.

Jopay is a young woman. She is 22 and beautiful. She said “Sa panahon ngayon, pera perahan na lang yan.” Believe it or not that statement came from a young woman who still had a lot to experience in this world. Certainly it can’t be that bad. I basically felt that this woman has lost all the hope in this world. She knows that it is unfair, accepted it and just decided to have a life where the bottom line is simply “pera perahan na lang.” Such is the irony of life. Some people just have lost their appetite for a good life that it boils down to things that are in the long run really short lived.

I, myself, am not someone who has had the luxury of a good life but I have not come to that point. More often, we complain about things then at some point reality sets in and it is as if we have one painful wake up call. In that fateful day, I went to Batangas to visit some friends. I did not know that it was the birthday of one of my friend’s father and as usual there were drinks. By 9 PM, some of my friends decided to go some place else. Being new to the place I had no idea what was in the place and I simply went along. At around one in the morning I found myself talking to Jopay, inside a motel room. And it was from there that she told me those very words that shocked me and somehow felt pity for her. Jopay is not really her real name. She later revealed that she was really Joey. Jopay was in fact a prostitute.

Jopay, or Joey, is a woman that we have cheated of life. I asked her if she was contented with how she lives her life. Her reply was a dull no. Later on, I learned that she was from Davao, stowed away from her family and is now “doing business” in Batangas. A young woman who has so much future ahead of her is with me in some cheap motel room, so far away from her family and is ready to give even her body. Coming to think of it, it was a sad reality to a young woman like her and even for me. She was a woman who has been used by men over and over again consuming all the hope and faith she has in the good things in this world. And sadder is the fact that in some way I was part of it. Life was not fair for this young lady because people like me and all others were unfair. It was cheating in the highest form paying an amount for something that can not be bought. We were actually stealing from her something that was rightfully hers and should never be taken from her.

She left the hotel room one and a half hour later with 500 pesos, a condom that we were supposed to use and a smile in her face. I just hope that the smile she wore was some hope that there is still good in this world, maybe a hope for good things to come, a hope for new life – a better life. For my part, I went out a couple of minutes later with a bigger smile. Life is unfair but it is never a reason for us to be cheaters. As I ride the bus going home, I think about Jopay, I look up the sky, close my eyes and just wish that somehow something that she lost will just be returned to her. I just hope she gets it back.

Well that's the story. hope you enjoyed it.

I'm living a story just like that

I was surfing the net after a very tiring day practicing the Alumni Homecoming Parade this saturday. When you are a cadet in PMA, surely you will understand what I'm saying, the Alumni Homecoming is perhaps the most tiring activity we have here every year sometimes even competing with graduation week. So after eating, I decided to go to the Computer Laboratory and just surf the net. With no new message from friendster or in my e-mail, I just surfed trying to go to familiar sites that I have been visiting. Then I reached jzone which was the site of the youth ministry of my church back in manila. When I go to this site I usually read the testimonies of other young individuals who were touched by God and decided to follow Him. I fall in that category and I am continuously amazed by the things that happen to young people like me who are still in the process of learning things in this world and, for my part, trying my best to follow God's will. I realized how life can be so much different when we become conscious that there is a plan for each of us. I was reading so many stories until finally it came to me how my life is living a story like that. I am not saying that I am some kind of a religious person and all that because really I am never religious, I am simply one person who has come to a point of understanding that life here on earth is never about us but about God. If you won't believe me I'll start telling my story just like how they did it in that website:

I am Alex Cabales, presently a cadet of the Philippine Military Academy, and someone who was touched by God's Grace and is trying his best to be worthy of that grace.

My family is not something that you can call typical. It is a family tainted with so much problems in so many areas. My father is now a high ranking officer in the military while my mother has already passed away about 6 years ago (gosh it's been that long). They separated when I was really young and somehow that spelled the difference in the way I experienced childhood. My father went on to join his other family while my mother left for the States so that she can support us. We had everything financially because of that but none of the tender loving care any normal child should experience. After 8 years, my mother goes home dying of cancer while my father lives a life as if he never had three children from my mother. There was simply resentment on my part to my father and a deep sense of hatred to God for allowing my mother to die and allowing me to have a life that is never normal. To top it all, I was discharged from the PMA with no hope whatsoever of finishing school. At 18 years old, I hated the world and my future was bleak. And then God called me, suddenly he sent me people who told me stories of God's grace. They told me stories of God moving and doing the impossible, they demonstrated to me outstanding faith that I can not understand and they showed me love that overflows despite of everything. In the end, my heart softens and little by little I begin to entertain the idea that something must be done and since I was at the point of no return, I just did it.

There was nothing really great that happened after that. I was still confused what to do with my life and I did not how to begin rebuilding it, I was replenished with new life and I was just hopeful. The next three years became the most important part of my life because in that span of time I was able to define who I really am, reevaluate my belief system about life and God and find my place in God's plan for me. Unexplainable things happened in a very swift sequence and by the time I realized it, I was in a bus bound to PMA.

Today, there are times that I feel sad, confused, lonely and sometimes I just hate the world. I find comfort in writing everything that I feel and just put it out in the open. I would say that my life is basically found in the internet but not really trying to make something out of what I write. Modesty aside, I know that I am good with the pen and I know that God made it that way because it is part of His plan for me. I am in the military despite of my seemingly unmilitary manners because this is where God will use me. I still do not understand many of the things that are happening in my life but I really do not care. I believe that the life given to each of us is not to be understood but a sacred trust from God that should be lived to the fullest for His greater glory. I know that when the time comes it is not my knowledge of how the world works that will matter but with the faith I have in the God that placed me where I am now. I will be happy to face my God in due time and tell him that I lived not by anything else but simply by faith. I just love the Lord and I thank him for everything. TO HIM ALL THE GLORY.

So that is my story... hope that like me you will also say that you have a story like that to tell.

My old blog

I kind of miss my old blog so I checked it out, I think it was good so I am sharing it again I hope you'll also check the old one, its actually three years old.... thanks. Here's the link: Click here