The PMAer

Last 18 February was the Alumni Homecoming. After a series of hectic preparations on our part tidying up everything, fixing our things for open house, the cavaliers swarmed Fort del Pilar with faces gleaming with excitement like a young boy who was given his first bike. Young and old alike, they proudly wear their bull rings on their fingers, its imposing size somehow illustrates the very importance of the ring. For us, it was an instance of curiousity and astonishment to the many individuals that have come before us. Others that you saw in TV; the former Chief of Staffs, the Generals, the Senators and other prominent members of society are just there enjoying the cool Baguio breeze with nostalgia painted all over their face clearly reminiscent of their good old days as men wearing the sacred full dress uniform.

As a classmate stood in attention in his full dress white uniform holding a flag of some old PMA class, a huge man taps him on the back.

"My last name?"

"I will find out sir," came the quick reply of my classmate.

"Dahil hindi mo ako kilala, mag one-leg up ka"

In an instant, even when sleep was barely 3 hours the night before, one foot ascends from its place in the field. The foot is raised for a couple of minutes until finally,

"Tsun" came another order of the still unidentified cavalier.

In a short while, he feels that the man is leaning against him. He still remains in attention but tries hard to keep his balance exerting all effort not to fall as the weight of the man behind him pushes him forward. A few more moments, the cavalier who ordered "one leg up" and is now leaning against him, raises his hand and waves to the crowd as he is acknowledged as Senator Rodolfo Biazon.

The Alumni Homecoming is an annual gathering of all PMA classes. For the cadets, it is the second busiest activity, second only to graduation week. One wonders why every year, each PMAer will trek going up to Baguio City just to attend this gathering. I, too, wonder. Why is it that the likes of Senator Biazon, whom people see in TV delivering speeches in the Senate, giving interviews on issues and others, go back to PMA every February and find joy in ordering one clueless cadet to raise one leg and then have his huge frame be carried as he leans at the back of the cadet. Others find great pleasure when their company song is sung, or when an old classmate tells the story of the day they fought over a piece of bukayo or when the time he was made to run around the parade grounds for an infinite number of times. It is an interesting phenomenon, a social occurence that some people may not understand. When this men troop the line of the cadets , each of them is suddenly filled with youthfulness marching in cadence with the base drum and beaming with pride. And as the Alma Mater song is sung, everyone stands in attention, they stop everything that they do and then the atmosphere becomes so solemn juving with the song that each PMAer treasure in his heart. After the parade, everyone goes home and everything becomes normal again. Our classes resume and life in PMA becomes the usual.

In reality though, every PMAer leaves Fort del Pilar invigorated with a replenished sense of idealism and commitment. Even as I look at their faces, I could see how much time has taken its toll. Their hairs begin to fade, wrinkles appear from everywhere. Their former muscular bodies have been replaced with big beer bellies and all is left are just fond memories of cadetship and that ring that they wear in their finger. Yet in their hearts, remains the imposing ideals of this noble institution. Within them is a renewed sense of Courage, Integrity and Loyalty. Anyone who has gone through plebehood is never the same person and maybe that is what it is all about. The Philippine Military Academy has given them a deep sense of purpose to be part of something that is great to this country. Within the very walls of this insitution, they have become men. And so they go back each year reliving their experience that made them who they are now, men of Courage, Integrity and Loyalty. They go back to their own lives doing what they do best, as PMAers, as servants of the motherland.

Dreaming on

Earlier this morning, I started wrtining in my old notebook. It was the same notebook that I write to when there was no blog around. It was the same notebook that I wrote the characteristics of the woman I am praying for. So I started to write, I thought of a place that I saw a very long time ago. It was at the top of a hill in San Carlos City, Negros Occidental. It was overlooking the sea that separates Negros and Cebu (I think it's Tanon Strait). In that wide expanse of water one could see the Refugio Island, popularly called by the people from San Carlos Sipaway Island, and then nothing but see until you reach Toledo City. I saw that sight just when the sun was about to set. It overlooked the sleepy city of San Carlos. You can see the Church, the plaza and of course the now closed azucarera on which the city became popular. The cemetery is also not far off, it is there that my Lola was buried, a second cousin, and some other relatives that I do not remember anymore. When I came to that place around 4 or 5 years ago, I was in love with it scenic beauty, the orange shade that the setting sun produced was just painting the place with glowing sunlight. In all the serenity and calmness of such place, I just felt contented; I was happy.

And then how could one forget the view from Makati's Cafe Lupe, the table at the very top just before reaching the grotto of our Lady of Guadalupe. It was a restaurant beneath the big billboards that trooped the right side of Edsa just before you reach Guadalupe if you are coming from Quezon City. The first time I was there, I was with my brother, we went there because his classmate was working there and he invited us. The chef then of the restaurant became our friend and I just fell in love with the place. It was a serene place that is located at the heart of the city. There was just this sense of peace when I went there. In that place I could feel an energy that revitalizes me, it was just a wonderful place.

In all of these places there was one thing that I realized. That was my exact feeling as I started to write in my old notebook, trying to dwell on the wonderful felling I had when I came to these places. The main character in my story was standing by a tree, captivated by the sight he saw at sunset. His wife came from the back, he then gazed at her gave her a kiss on the forehead, placed her in his arms and then time just stood still. As I write this entry, I am still dreaming, dreaming when time will stop as I am captivated by the beauty that abounds these places that have come to etch itself deep into my soul. I am dreaming of holding that someone in my arms and just be grateful. Well, I am dreaming on, I am dreaming because my sould is somewhat in pain with all the things that are happening. The dreams that I have are just longings that I vowed to pursue when the time comes. I am dreaming on because I know that as I dream about all these things, I am getting a glimpse of the wonderful that is in store for me. I am grateful for this dreams and I can't wait for it to be fulfilled.

I thought blogging can't be done in Finals

Yes, people its finals week and I just came from Extra Instruction (we call it EI for short) in Physics. The thing with this subject is that its so easy and I wonder why I am even taking the finals for this one. I realized that I wasn't really listening that much to class especially that I am seated at the back with a failing eyesight. The reveiewing was a good one and I am believing that I can perfect tomorrow's exam just to catch up with the grades I lost due to my little vacation in Naga. And then everyone is surprised that I am taking the finals in Speech, imagine Cadet Cabales taking finals in a subject that he is known to ace by almost everyone who knows him. But then again being in the exemption list does not necessarily mean that you are good at the subject, it just means that your GRADES were good in the subject. Well, I guess this semeseter is just another learning experience. My Dean's list medallion will not be seen somewhere near my chest next year, I think I will just put it near my OTHER medals... hahaha akala nyo ha marami kaya akong medals :)

Last night, I was asked by the class president of the graduating class to edit their Class History to be printed in the yearbook and the Graduation issue of the Corps Magazine. he gave specific instruction that I improve the write-up (pagandahin ko daw, sabi nya). When I read the write-up it was bad, really bad and boring. I am not saying that I am expert in the area but I can very well identify a good literary piece from a bad one. It was a monotony of events that happened to their class with no emotional appeal and one can not just see the relevance of everything that was written. I wrote a long note in the end, said my comments and other opinions and then gave it back to the writer. I am now wondering what the reaction is considering that I bluntly said that the write-up is not worthy for publication plus the fact that the writer is my upperclass. Well, at least now they know that the next they make me edit something it must be good. I'm sorry for being arrogant but you just have to read the write-up to believe me. Hey, considering that I am the Historian of my class, I think my opinion is valid, its not a case of argumentum ad vericundiam (is that the correct spelling?) I do know what I am saying when I gave back the piece, but of course I am still hoping that they will have me edit an improved version anytime during the week.

Today is the 7th death anniversary of a cousin. He was my favorite cousin with whom I had so much fun while studying at Dumaguete. It was with him that I learned to value happiness in its simplest form and spending time with friends. You see, no matter the situation is the friends you have really spell out the difference, you should just try it. Ian Fortugaleza is surely missed.

So basically life is normal. I have two exams tomorrow: speech and physics. Later today, I will start reading on the basic steps in speechmaking... naks its funny how I find studying for speech surreal.

Last night also, the good friend that made "tampo" on me sent me a message. After sometime we started asking questions about each other's life. I proudly announced to her that my crush last year is single again. I do not know what happened to her boyfriend but the news is she is single again. I think you can read about her in my entries sometime in March and April of last year. She is also the subject of the short story (Open Call) that was published in the Corps Magazine's Academic Issue last year. I am not really happy about her recent reentry to single blessedness, I think the proper word to describe my reaction is uninterested. Initially, upon learning about the news, I was like "OWS??" She is actually a good catch if I may say. She is now in Law School in UP and graduated from Ateneo, plus the fact that she is so beautiful and listen to this RICH as in really rich. My friend and I call her 3M for maganda, mayaman at mabait. That is just something I wanted to share. And then my friend asks me about this other girl, as she would put it, "na kinahuhumalingan ko" these days. I realized that the reason why I am not so interested with 3M is maybe because I just moved on to a better girl, not because she is richer, more beautiful but as I would put it because "she calms my soul."... I do not know, I may just be imagining things considering that she is just so silent but then that's what I feel at the moment. I do not understand why but its just that way, maybe in time I will be able to understand it but in the meantime I am following my heart.

Well, I have to go now... till then

Just things that happened

I had fun earlier singing in Church. I really lead the praise and worship in Church so it wasn't so hard to do but it was the first time that I sang this year. I do not know how it happened but I just was not able to lead much when the year came in. I realized, as I was singing, that I did miss it.

Finals will begin on tuesday after which Graduation week (which is considered the busiest activity we have here) and then finally I'm going on break, and then receive the class of 2010 (this is going to be exciting) and then be a squad leader. Ang bilis, imagine I have been using this site for blogging for like 4 years or so tapos more than a year nun is from PMA, yung may karugtong ng diaries from Melchor Hall... actually dati Ang Munting Bukayo lang from the popular bukayo we have as plebes. It is really about appreciation kasi pag plebo ka and then you are given a bukayo, dahil sa sobrang gutom, the little thing seems to be the most delicious food there is, pinag aagawan at kinakain ng dahan dahan, that's the bukayo isang maliit na bagay that is very important, sa buhay ng tao maraming ganun maliliit na bagay na minsan nakakalimutan nati but are in fact important. The diaries from Melchor Hall part came when I started blogging from Melchor Hall which is the location of our Computer Laboratory... hehehe ganun lang kasimple ang explanation nun.

Anyway, mamaya mag-aaral na lang ako so hindi na muna ako maguupdate ng madalas at baka bumagsak ako at madischarge pa hehehe. Baka rin mamayang gabi wala ng internet as what is usually done during finals week, walang internet para mag-aral talaga ang mga cadets.....

Yun na muna.... sa uulitin

Active waiting

In a public forum I frequently visit, one thread introduced the concept of Active waiting. It was a thread about singlehood and what people should do. That is the topic I will be blogging about.

I do not know if this is true to everyone in this generation but I observed that people has been preoccupied with finding "the one." I have observed that for most people, their motivation in life has always been related to finding the right partner. From the way they dress, the kind of jobs they take, the kind of people they hang out with, all of these seems to be directed towards the goal of finding a mate. Personally, that is how I believe that so many opinions regarding the matter aroused, primarily because everybody is interested.

I have to say that I am no expert in the matter also. Honestly, I am a novice in this area, what I will be presenting are merely observations and deductions that I made based on what my belief on things are. I am proud to say that I was blessed with a mother (may she rest in peace) who cultivated my self esteem early on. As a young boy, I was stubborn, but I always speak my mind and most of the time its hard to convince me otherwise. Growing up, I have somewhat learned things on my own such that in time, I have developed this personality that I do not need to prove anything to anybody. To a certain extent, that wouldn't be easy but I was just being myself, I did not care much about how people think. Later on, I realized that sometimes I also have to be considerate, so I also tried to learn this "skill." Honestly, I am one person who is so bad at sensitivity, not because I simply do not care but because I just have so much confidence on my ideas that sometimes I forget that other people have their own idea also. And so in the area of singlehood, my firm belief is that there will just come a time that you will realize that somebody is so perfect and that she will sweep you off your feet, and that it will be for that reason that you will find out more and then so on finally culminating in realizing that life can't be better without the person. When I became a Christian I learned that praying for it is important. At this point, the more that I understand that if there is one area in our life that we need to surrender to God, its definitely relationships, romantic relationships to be exact. I feel that if we do not allow God to bless such relationship we will never be assured of it becoming successful.

And so in the concept of active waiting, it is basically being active meaning constantly looking out but really waiting for God's whisper to do what should be done. I am saying that we should not based this things on what we feel but rather in listening to what our heart tells us. Don't be confused, I really think that what we feel and what our heart says are two different things. Sometimes our heart tells us to do things even if it doesn't feel right. Of course, it takes time to develop this ability to distinguish the two but really, when we are sensitive enough we can hear our heart's whispers. I believe that these whispers are from God and that they direct us what to do. Oftentimes these are things that seems impossible to achieve but I realized that these are also opportunities for God to reveal himself to each of us.

The reason why I wrote that is that I simply wanted to share something that I feel is relevant to this generation. I had one person tell me that when we want something in our life, we grab every opportunity to get it. Before, that was how I see it, but now its not, I just believe that our existence is part of a plan that is orchestrated by a supreme being and unless we submit to that plan we can never really enjoy this life to the fullest. I believe that the concept of active waiting, allows God to play a role in our lives rather than just calling on Him when we have problems or when we are already in trouble. The secret to living is letting God be part of our lives... well that's what I think.... tell me yours...