An ordinary day... I hope and some pictures

This picture was taken on top of Mt Sto. Tomas with my squadmates and my classmate who is also my assistant squad leader... see they do not look like plebes anymore

On our backs are the two sort of "ears" that can be seen from PMA

On our back is the tallest peak in the Benguet Area, we were supposed to go there but the wind and the rain did not allow us... too bad for the plebes

I was supposed to upload some pictures that were taken recently during our activities with the plebes but then I do not know what is it with our server that it simply can not upload the pictures, those on top got lucky. So I decided to simply blog away since I have missed this for quite a long time already For the benefit of those who wondered why I suddenly became so busy, I really was busy. Aside from the fact that our internet connection in the Academy just came back, I really do not have much time these past days (months, I mean). As a squad leader to the new plebes I am so bombarded with so many things aside from the mental stress that all of us are subjected to trying to think of ways to teach the new cadets. By the time we are allowed some time for ourselves, I'd rather sleep than walk to the computer laboratory and blog about the things that happened. Although there really are times that I just want to write some thoughts that occupy my mind, I was simply tired. I was not able to write the letters I wish to send to people, I even do not like texting so much already. Most of my time is occupied by things that I had to do, my present responsibility. Its a good thing now that the plebes are in Bataan for their weapons training, I'm trying my best to relax because by early monday we will also be moving to Fort Magsaysay, Nueva Ecija to link up with the whole Corps for the Field Training Exercises. Then finally we go back here to prepare the plebes for their first victory, Incorporation Day. Then we return to normal, back to academics and hopefully I can return to my usual routine and be myself again.

The problem is, now that I am in front of the computer, I find myself at a loss with words. I have so many things in mind yet I really do not know how to begin. Maybe I have poured all the emotions in the articles I wrote for next month's issue of the Corps Magazine that I just can not find the wisdome to be wise at this point in time. I do not have the slightest clue on what to write I just know that despite being very busy I am fulfilled with the job I made on the seven plebes I was given responsibility over, I hope the parents will be happy with how their children endured me for the past month (he he with a wide grin.) Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy my little feast...

I'm back... but not really

Im like 20 pounds lighter and around 3 inches off my waist but still the same. The past month had been shall I say life transforming and the next succeeding days is become more and more exciting each day.

I just finished what we call as the Leadership Development Course. It is a rigid one-month course where we live in tents with our M-16 rifles and train for combat leadership and learn the intricacies of an ordinary foot soldier -- the infantry man. With the help on a 10 kilo rucksack on my back, constant excercises I was not only able to lose weight (as if I have to) but also became stronger... I feel as if I'm superman :) But sad to say I can only report this things now as for some reason there is no internet connection inside the Philippine Military Academy.

Being forced to live simply under a tent, eating in individual mess kits and subjected to little or no rest kind of allowed me to mature more when it comes to appreciation of the things around me. I remember how much pleasure it gave me when finally I was allowed to use my cellphone during the holy week. It was also some sight just to see the other batch of my classmates who were then handling the plebes. My matress suddenly felt so special and a simple bath just blows me away. Deprivation can really do so many things to a person plus my appreciation to the many sacrifices that many of our soldiers out there, risking their lives and doing their duties. Somehow at the end of it all, I just wanted to learn more and do all the things well after coming to the realization that the things that I learn might spell out the difference between life and death for me when I go to the field to join the war out there. I guess for all of us there just comes a point in life when things that are important to us suddenly becomes crystal clear and we just have to decide once and for all that we have to take on the challenge and just do what we have to do. At the end of it all I am a better person.

Next in the many challenges that I have experienced in the past days is becoming a squad leader. Talking to an officer the other day, he simply said that it is the hardest job in the Cadet Corps. I realized that he just might be right. What I teach the plebes under me might break or make them as future leaders of this country. Imagine the life of a 17 something individual is suddenly placed on my shoulders and I teach them the ways of soldiery, the foundation of their life as soldiers. Every now and then, I am amazed by the innocence of the 7 young men under me, how my every word is taken very seriously and that I am looked up to as someone who is so great. I kind of felt the responsibility, imagine the things that I teach them will be the foundations of their concept in going about their training. Again, it is life changing but in a different way than that of the LDC, this time the future is somehow in your hands and thats scary. But then again, I must be capable for those above me entrusted me with the responsibility and every night I pray that I am being true to that responsibility. Well its just like that, a leader seeks responsibility and takes responsibility for their actions. Anyway I'll just post the pictures that I had for the past weeks....

Sabi ko naman pagod eh :)

Sabi nila in the armydaw takbo daw hanggang may lupa ayun naniwala naman ako

Ito yata ang dahilan at nabasan ng 3 inches waist line ko imagine I made 47 in one minute...

Ang tawag nila dito inverted crawl and you have to travel 100 meters in 33 seconds, ako I got 26 seconds... akala nyo madali mahirap no.... :)

Well siguro hanggang dito na lang muna I have to go :)

Leave of Absence

I do not know how to start this but tomorrow is a milestone in my life as a cadet. At 1 in the afternoon tomorrow, my class will receive the new cadets to compose the class of 2010. After that, I will be going on a one month training that will require me to be out of the blogging world. Meaning this will be my last entry until I finish the Leadership Development Course where I will go a somewhat boot camp that will train me and my other classmates for Combat Leadership. This will be a boot camp of some sort where we live in tents, don our battle dress attire and our M16 rifles. We will perform simulated combat patrols, foor marches, combat runs and so many other activities that will test our stamina and endurance. This is the life in the Army and in a months time I will get a bird's eye view of what its going to be. In the meantime, I will have to temporarily say goodbye to my blog and I hope to be back alive after the one month at which time I will be detailed as a squad leader to our new plebes.... Well, all my contact to the outside world will simply cease in that one month... well goodbye people for now....

That's Ironic

Life can be ironic. I came to that conclusion after feeling the frustration of loneliness. In this life, so many things happen, we make decisions, move on to new beginnings each day and yet the inevitable seems to be always there waiting to strike. In my state, with people telling me that I should be happy with my life, I just can not help it but wonder the irony of the things that are currently happening to my life.

My heart felt sorry for my friend. Unfortunately, despite being the best friend that I am to her, I am the doom of her relationship with her current boyfriend. Even if it is simply a case of insecurity on the part of his boyfriend, I envy the boyfriend for despite his insensitivity and disregard to the feelings of my good friend, he is lucky to have my friend. I could feel from the words as she spoke to me over dinner last night, surely this guy had my friend deep into her chest. I could sense how much she really wants to fix their problem trying her best to keep me, to remain her confidant, to remain her friend. I wonder why some men can simply treat women like that. Her tears are just so precious that I really feel bad having to see it again. But then it is a situation only the two of them can fix, I realized that in cases like this it is enough that I do not talk, it is enough that I am simply there telling her that at the end of it all everything will be all right and we will all get what we deserve.

It has always been like that for me. So many years ago, she was at another bad instance in her life. Again, it is about men. It is about the ego of some men who just do not know how to treat a lady right. I've seen her cry and smile about it. In her eyes you could see how much she simply wants someone that will love her the way she should be. When people began to notice that we were getting close, they started teasing us. After that, I confronted her and told her that we just can not allow people teasing us about it. It was clearly a connection between two people who understood each other so well without the romantic thing. Most people will not believe that could exist between two people from the opposite sex but I assure you it does. In fact most people will not believe it to the point that her boyfriend gets so weird when any topic about me is brought up. And so it becomes their problem. As for me I continue to be a friend.

But my situation is also frustrating. While many people consider my ideas about love, relationships, faith, hope and other beutiful things brilliant, it seems not to exist in my life. For the past months I embarked on a quest to just be very honest to a girl. To be really sincere not trying to impress her but just revealing to her the person that I am including all my deficiencies. Every night I pray hard believing that God will give me what is due me. But then its just like that. She simply ignores me and I do not know what to do. But then I persist, I do what my heart tells me and continue to reveal myself despite of being ignored. For some people it is stupidity, for me it is an act of faith. It is based on the belief that we always sow what we reap. It is an act inspired by a soul that was changed and was inspired by another as if some magic has occured. So I write, try to be spontaneous and cross my fingers everytime. The truth is I do not even know if she is reading it, I'm just believing that maybe she is curious.

So this is the scenario, my friend has problems with her boyfriend because apparently he sees me as a threat to the two of them rather than an asset, while I go crazy and just write anything under the sun and send it to some girl that gave me much wonder. The irony of it all is that two people apparently connected by a very deep friendship find themselves in very contrasting situations. She is problematic about her boyfriend not knowing how to treat her well while she always says that her boyfriend should take tips from me on how to treat her. On the other hand, I am trying to prove my worth to someone who continues to ignore me while my friend continuosly tells me that I am already good and that its the girl's loss not mine. It would seem that to each of us we both know the solution to each other's problem but we just can not solve it because we are merely spectators on each others life. That's ironic.

It's different when you get to have a new pair of eyes, the world seems to be more beautiful. I sit here in front of the computer wearing my new glasses inside ali mall. I basically do not know what to do so I sit here and just write what I want to write. On my right side, I think, is some showbiz writer. With my vision I can see that he is typing some article about Ara Mina and other actors. Its a wonder how some people who write as a living do not have their personal computers for them to really write what they are supposed to. I can only conclude that the job is not that well paying or that the man by my side (I think he's gay) has so many "papas" to spend for that he can not afford to buy his own personal computer.

I am still contemplating on buying a digital camera. I just came from Centennial Bank (the official bank of the CCAFP) and withdrew my accumulated allowance for the past 3 months and really I have a lot of money in my wallet at this exact moment. Earlier I saw this camera that was around nine thousand pesos but I'm still really not sure whether to buy it. I plan to go to Gateway in a little while to scout some more. I'm thinking that in the next succedding months, when I already have my camera, I will be able to readily put pictures in this blog so that I do not have to describe everything that happens in my lonely life as a cadet.

Can you believe it, I am finally a second class cadet. Time does fly so fast. Early this morning as my body clock still thinks that there is a bugle sound of reveille at five thirty in the morning, I was wide awake while the rest of the world around me is still so silent. I can not force myself to go back to sleep so I wore my rubber shoes and started running. around twenty minutes after, I was already sweating profusely and my aunt was already awake. That was indeed a good way to start the day. Right now I am still oozing with energy still happy to be on vacation, I hope I can go out later tonight... well I just have to wait and see....

I have to go now, I still have to go to places.... by the way I just bought Bob Ong's Stainless Longganisa, as far as I have read its funny already but I'll narrate the full review once I'm done... in the meantime I have to go....