Harrassment!!!

The image you see in the right is an entry from my shoutbox that I deleted, it's lame but there is more to that and I am to write it down in a little while.

The last entry about the lessons that I learned was about an incident that happened a few hours before I wrote it. It was something that should not be written and do not intend to write about believing that the other people concerned will be mature enough not to act stupid and embarrass themselves in the world wide web. But I guess SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST STUPID that they'd rather declare it to the whole world than shut their mouths so that people will not notice. It is sad to say that I received some threat to the ideas that I write in this blog. I am very aware that many people read this blog, others follow what happened to stories I told and others find something in the ideas that are presented but none so far who'd go as far as harrassing the author.

This people do not understand what is the point to this and I just hope they read this for the benefit of their small brains. This blog is an evolution of expression from the lowest part of my life when I was a frustrated discharged ex PMA cadet wishing to go back, to the fulfillment of that wish and still a continuing struggle of trying to make good and do something out of my life. It is a testament of how one person's dream can actually illustrate the beauty of life according to the way I see the world. This is not just some insistent ranting that cultivates hatred, disobedience and deliberate defiance to existing norms. Rather, this is a chronicle of what transpires in a normal person's life who happens to find himself inside the halls of the country's premier military institution, the Philippine Military Academy. I believe that I earned my place as a competent writer not just speaking of nonsense but of ideas that are based on my own perception of truth and what really matters in this world. I admit that I do not have the monopoly of ideas, nor do I have the wisdom that never falters. But I also assert that my ideas are just as good as other rational people and they do not have the slightest right to stop me from expressing this ideas. We may not necessarily agree on the actuations of cadets or soldiers in general and there is no fault in that, the wrongdoing comes when they harrass me just because we do not agree on certain issues. I do not care if people will think that I am some self centered individual who has this obsession in writing ideas, nor does it matter to me that people hate me for it. The truth remains that I am putting all these ideas for the whole world to see because I believe in the beauty of life, if they can't handle that then I beg them not to go to this blog (it's really that simple if you just tried to mind your own business) But of course, they are the protectors of cadet actuation, they insist that cadets always have to act in a certain way and the saddest of it all is that they insist that they should act in a manner that they dictate.

Well people, I do not wish to add more fuel to this conflict, I am hoping that they stop harrassing me and just mind their own business. The lesson about this whole experience is simple, we just can not please everybody. We all have our now individual characteristics, traits that make us unique. We are this way because this is how God has planned to use us for His will. The writer in me defines who I am and I believe this is how I am to be used. How? I do not know but in time I know I will.

For all those who visit my site every now and then, thank you very much and I hope somehow the purpose of this blog is attained. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

Lessons for the day

I am still not in the mood in writing something that happened today but I am willng to share lessons that I learned. Here it is:

1. Never say that something is wrong just because you do not agree with it
2. Never conclude anything, always understand that people do not think the way you do and people do not have the same values and personality that you have
3. You will never be able to please everyone so do not bother, do what you think is right
4. Courage is not always how we percieve it, all people are courageous in their own way
5. Our belief on things are useless if we do not stand by it, even to our seniors
6. Professionalism is not about how people are its about how people do the job they are expected to do
7. To have opinions is but human
8. As always everything, good or bad, is a learning experience
9. Rank does not only have privileges more than that it has RESPONSIBILITIES
10. Coward people are those who take advantage of other people's helplessness
11. All the good intentions will be lost to one mistake in making your point

I can write a book about this but I guess reflecting on events that happen can be a source of wisdom. To the two people who taught me these lessons today, thank you and I hope you too leaned your lessons. For those who would want to know what happened, I promise to write about it in due time, I'm just not in the mood to tell stories at this time.

Ego trips... a shame

How a person handles authority says so much of what kind a person he or she is. This is my observation as I go about trying to conforme with the hierarchy that has been set to us as cadets here in PMA. I had this line of thought, after being involved with an upperclass who just wants to prove to himself that he is someone of authority. Power can corrupt and this is very rampant in some of the cadets here that will become the "future leaders of the land."

I came from a class in Ethics and since the weather was so cold, I rushed to the comfort room to take a leak. Most of my classmates also did and in a matter of minutes the comfort room was full of my classmates. But then there was something different, I could here from the background as I was urinating greetings from my classmates, obviously there was someone more senior to us inside. I noticed that the upperclass was somewhere near the mirror and as I was about to leave I said my greetings to acknowledge his presence in the room. A little while, as I was standing near the room for my next class, a classmate told me that the upperclass wants me to report to him during my open time. I figured it was about the greeting, maybe he did not hear me. During the class, I tried to think about what happened whether or not I should report to him. When the class ended, I was still not sure only to meet him in the stairway, telling me again to report to him. I asked what is it about and he started yelling at me saying that I should not ask. So I decided, he will have to fetch me before I even think of reporting to him. I reasoned that if it was some important thing, he could just tell me what it is so that I could see the importance of me having to see him. I believe it was just some ego trip, something common to cadets who are unable to handle authority in a mature way.

This is a common thing. Most of the time, upperclassmen think that because they are more ranking, they can order anything to their subordinates sometimes to the point that they already violate the person. My rationale is simple, the reason why I am an upperclass is because I have people under me. Without them I am nothing, so it is my responsibility to take care of them, not order them around as if I am some God that they should follow. Although obedience is taught to us, there is a clear distinction between being stupid and being obedient. Even in the military, I believe it is justified not to follow a useless order, such as reporting to an upperclass simply because he wants to impress upon me the value of greeting. The next time I see him, I will greet him at the top of my voice just to make sure he hears it. In our present culture of cadets, we have focused more on the privileges of rank rather than the reponsibilities of it. In so doing, as each cadet is promoted to higher ranks his competence declines. The best uniform is worn by the most junior cadet. The reason is simple, the higher the class, the more powerful you get and those below you can not do anything even if you wear the most shabby uniform. This then sends the message to the underclassmen that when they earn more rank, they can stop being snappy. And the cycle continues. In the end cadets do not develop the sense of responsibility and all they do is to ego trip, order other cadets just so they can validate that they are more powerful. It' as if the stripes and the chevrons that they wear is not enough.

This is the reality of immaturity, of people who do not value responsibility, of people who are simply wasting all the money and effort allocated for them to become "military officers as values centered individuals dedicated to a selfless service to the AFP and the nation." I am hoping that some of the cadets will just read what I am writing. I do not wish to be preachy, but obviously something has to be done. Protocol dictates that I have to wait until I become, I can not caution my upperclass, I can just make sure that his bad attitude will not be handed down to my generation and to those who will follow after me. I just heard that the upperclass is hunting me down, I hope he finds me and a confrontation erupts so that I can just tell him how stupid he is. As for me, I will just take note of the lessons I have to learn and remember not to stoop down to his level, I pity him to think he'll graduate in 7 months... well the world is just not perfect.

Amusing Blogs: That Girl Emily

The image on top is an actual billboard. Believe it or not, it is part of a wife's revenge on her cheating husband. I do not know if this is something to laugh at but this is true. In this blog, a girl named Emily made launched 14 days of revenge against her cheating husband. All 14 days are chronicled in this blog... you should see it, it's amusing if not hilarious....

Looking at it in another light

Frustrations come in many different forms. For most people it is something that just drags us down into bitterness. We wonder why despite of the things that we have done, no matter how hard we tried it still ended up different from the way we want it to be. That was how I felt when I got rejected for the congress I was talking about. Not being conceited or anything, I really just feel that I should go to that congress. And then the story unfolds and here I am... bitter. I really do not want to claim that I am not because aside from the fact that not many will believe me, it is with the bitterness that I realize something must be done.

When I first heard the news of my rejection, I was trying to convince myself that I did not hear it. It was as if I was ignoring something that was just in front of me. I tried not to think about it but it kept on following me. During a meeting for the publication, it was finally confirmed and I just felt so bad. I nursed the frustration for sometime not really knowing how to react. When I sat at my study table that night, all I could think of are the many things I will miss, the dream that I will never have. I was trying not to cry but I felt really really bad that tears just started to flow. I tried not to be noticed by my room mates so I acted normal despite of the tears. And then, just as I usually do whenever I encounter instances that I feel I can not handle, I cry out to God, I just said, "God turn this into something good."

The feeling did not go away as I tried to sleep, it kept on haunting me until my body just gave up and I dozed off. The next day was still the same thought. I could see my classmates who made it were already processing and I felt more pain. People thought that because I was joking about it, I wasn't affected. In reality, it was just my way of coping. I wanted to talk to people, to my Tactical Officer and to many others who can do something that will just change my fate. But I did not go with my thoughts, I knew I will only look trying hard. Each day became a battle to let go of that frustration and every time I think I can no longer handle it, I prayed the same prayer I made the first night.

When I told the news to my friend in Manila, he too was frustrated. He was one person that knew how much I wanted it. He asked me if there was a way to change the decision, I said there maybe but I wouldn't try. At the back of my mind, I was thinking that maybe he can do something about it since he is connected with the organizers of the congress. I was thinking maybe he could do some recommendation from their end. In the end, I dismissed the thought, I was already scheming to get what I want. Then came the people that at one point attended the congress. They were all introduced according to the year they attended the congress and it added more pain. Finally my friend started to tell me about what he is doing now. He said that he was connected with a project in Mindanao, then suddenly I remembered Project ISLAM.

What first was a continuous blow on my already frustrated heart, suddenly shifted to another light. I started to tell him about the Project. My enthusiasm became so great that I forgot I was frustrated. Finally, the realization of a new me dawned. This was God's answer to my prayer. My frustration was because I get to hear beautiful stories about the conference and dreamed of having the same stories. Somehow, I made the connection that people like my friend, have become who they are because of their experience in that congress. As I was talking more and more about things that I could do for some noble project, I was just amazed. People have become who they are because that was the choice they made. I remember how bad I feel about others who attended the congress who failed miserably in catching the message why the congress was being held. I was willing to offer myself for something good and that was the whole point of the congress. I realized that I already caught the message and the call now is not to try to catch it again but act on the message.

I decided several things on how I will live my life from now on. I may not be able to do much but I know I am in the right path. The frustration is another way of God to tell me to start doing something rather than wait and feel bad about things that do not go the way I want it. Its true, I still feel bad and I know it will take time for me to forget about the rejection, but what I do with my life now is my choice. The congress is just one of the many opportunities there is, but as long as I am here and with God on my side, I am not to waste these other opportunities. Frustrations will come but what we do with it is our own choice.

Last night, I was reading Philippine Star about an interview with Purpose Driven Life Author Rick Warren and he sums up everything that I have already said: "Its like bubble gum, you chew it but you do not swallow it."