The other people

Most people who know me well would say that my personality is so strong tha some people may get intimidated when I assert myself. I have had many experiences where people just hate my guts because I seem to know it all, very noisy and brutally honest. But then, I must say that its not something that I intend to do. I am just the type of person who is not so much affected with the way people see me. The friends that I really become close with are those who know me inside and out, who understand that I am not really a bad person only someone with annoying habits. And so I come here, don the cadet uniform believing that life will be well with the way I am as a person.

Unlike when I was a civilian, I can just walk away from people that do not like me, but then in PMA its a totally different story. In my plebe year, I had to submit myself under the authority of people who do not like me, harder still is that these people simply do not understand the way I do things. They assume that I just some stubborn person who is a threat to their upperclass ego. I wonder how they still feel threatened when the stripe they wear simply explains why I can not do anything against them. But I survived, when my first stripe grew, I reckoned that I individuality is the way to do it even inside this Academy. I encoutered some difficulties but I still managed and in time I was to wear another stripe. Now, I have three plebes under my watch and I wonder if the same principle still applies.

In the previous years, I can afford to alieanate the people that do not like the way I do things. I can survive with little friends. But now, can I alienate the people that will determine the success of how I do my job as a squad leader? Can I allow individuality affect my responsibility to my subordinates? The question haunts me as I aspire to do a good job at the responsibility given to me. As I put it in the latest Corps Magazine, responsibility just changes a person. And it is changing me big time that I am a little bit apprehensive on how things should be done. Suddenly I do not have that much confidence whether I can accomplish the task set before me.

In the way we deal with things, I realized that now other people matters. Even if they do not determine the outcome of it, how they react will affect the outcome of any task. We are in fact living in a world where everything is so close-knit that you affect another consciously or otherwise. When I begin to do my duty, I am haunted by the effect I have on people especially on the question of that effect being a good or bad one. The bottom line of it all is that when responsibility takes over the people around is already a consideration especially when their life depends on the decisions that you alone make. But then again, its not as if I have a choice. The reality is I have to succeed for the success of my being a squad leader will affect the future of three cadets who like me wanted to take advantage of the PMA experience. I hope

News bits....

The mid-year issue of Corps Magazine is out....

We're back at Academics... I survived summer camp..... YAHOO!!!

Its a brand new start... I'm crossing my fingers... grabe second class na ako.... nagsimula akong magblog dito plebo pa lang ako... time really flies so fast...

People and more people

Hindi ko naman talaga alam ano isusulat ko... ano ba bago. Basta I realized that I just wanted to play with the keyboard as I find myself alone on my break. Although my phone is very busy with so many friends asking me out, I don't seem to like accepting their invitation. I just wanted to talk and the one person that I really wanted to talk to has a meeting so she's out, in the end malamang I will spend the night "socializing" with people who seems to love me because I am some cadet from the Philippine Military Academy. They will barrage me questions about PMA, whether there is maltreatment, how are the females treated and all other questions that never seem to ran out from the curious minds of so many individuals. Of course not all of them are like that but I'm just preparing myself to create the wonderful image expected of a PMA cadet once I meet them later tonight. I actually have somehow made up my mind to go with someone and has asked another lady friend to chaperone me. I do not know what will happen, I'm in tshirt and jeans so we'll just see.

Once I go back to Baguio tommorrow, I will join another company as a reasult of the realignment. Of course I felt bad having to leave my company and then adjust again to the new group of cadets I will be living with hopefull for the remaining two years of my cadetship. But I have always allowed reason to guide me and although the feeling is not good I still submit that my superiors knew what they were doing for implementing such a policy, I just hope I'll cope up with these new changes soon.

Ano pa ba???

Ayoko talagang mag pakaserious muna, naubos na yata sa article ko sa Corps Mag ah basta all is well and I am looking forward to the regular corps now with two stripes on my shoulder and hopefully as a squad leader.... Grabe naalala ko tuloy yung crush ko na hindi ko nasulatan... hmmmph... that gives me an idea... sige na babush

Here's the real update with a sense

Sabi ko kanina wala akong maisip na isulat, ngayon meron na kaya I am writing before the ideas ran out.

While I was walking towards the barracks this afternoon, I suddenly realized that my dresscoat now has a chevron. For those people who is not aware what a chevron is, it is that thing that we have in our uniforms to signify our present ranks in the Corps. Mine is a sergeant the highest I'll ever get as a second class cadet. Surprisingly this is also the first time that I get to wear one. The thing is that as I was walking and noticed the difference in my uniform now, I just realized how time flew so fast. Imagine this, I am now a squad leader to seven plebes. Its a wonder that despite of the fact that all of them are over the age of 17, they seem to be little children who believes everything that I say. Their fascination to the things that I tell them is just so enchanting that I can not help it but continue to do what I do. To these seven individuals, I control their world, I tell them what to do, how to do it and when to do it. I basically own them. See how time flies so fast. Last year, I was thrilled with having a fourthclass buddy. I was so glad that finally I am able to have someone to teach and to train the way I want it to be. At that time, I do not have so much freedom, I was limited to very minimal instructions and role modeling. I was very contented then. I felt that it was such an overwhelming feeling. But now, what more can I ask-- I have seven. The thing is I exercise more authority over these seven individuals. I practically dictate if they will survive the summer camp. The bottom line is things just happen so fast that by the time I realize it I might just leave PMA and off to the real world and fight the real war out there. Yes, the inevitable is obvious, we will all get old. The things that we hate now will just become memories that we will laugh about and wonder why we even bothered to consider it a problem in the first place. The things that we cherish will become lasting reminders of the beautiful life we are living... and of course our dreams will become nearer and nearer to reality. Several years ago I was a young man of 17 wanting to go to PMA. Then I became a depressed young man who was discharged from the Academy and felt that life is just so bad. Then I became an excited fourth class who just wanted to go back to PMA and continue what I have started. Then I was a yearling praying and studying hard to pass Calculus. And now I am a squad leader to seven young plebes whose cadetship depends on how I train and mold them. What's next? Well I can just imagine, what I am sure of is that it will just get better and better....

An ordinary day... I hope and some pictures

This picture was taken on top of Mt Sto. Tomas with my squadmates and my classmate who is also my assistant squad leader... see they do not look like plebes anymore

On our backs are the two sort of "ears" that can be seen from PMA

On our back is the tallest peak in the Benguet Area, we were supposed to go there but the wind and the rain did not allow us... too bad for the plebes

I was supposed to upload some pictures that were taken recently during our activities with the plebes but then I do not know what is it with our server that it simply can not upload the pictures, those on top got lucky. So I decided to simply blog away since I have missed this for quite a long time already For the benefit of those who wondered why I suddenly became so busy, I really was busy. Aside from the fact that our internet connection in the Academy just came back, I really do not have much time these past days (months, I mean). As a squad leader to the new plebes I am so bombarded with so many things aside from the mental stress that all of us are subjected to trying to think of ways to teach the new cadets. By the time we are allowed some time for ourselves, I'd rather sleep than walk to the computer laboratory and blog about the things that happened. Although there really are times that I just want to write some thoughts that occupy my mind, I was simply tired. I was not able to write the letters I wish to send to people, I even do not like texting so much already. Most of my time is occupied by things that I had to do, my present responsibility. Its a good thing now that the plebes are in Bataan for their weapons training, I'm trying my best to relax because by early monday we will also be moving to Fort Magsaysay, Nueva Ecija to link up with the whole Corps for the Field Training Exercises. Then finally we go back here to prepare the plebes for their first victory, Incorporation Day. Then we return to normal, back to academics and hopefully I can return to my usual routine and be myself again.

The problem is, now that I am in front of the computer, I find myself at a loss with words. I have so many things in mind yet I really do not know how to begin. Maybe I have poured all the emotions in the articles I wrote for next month's issue of the Corps Magazine that I just can not find the wisdome to be wise at this point in time. I do not have the slightest clue on what to write I just know that despite being very busy I am fulfilled with the job I made on the seven plebes I was given responsibility over, I hope the parents will be happy with how their children endured me for the past month (he he with a wide grin.) Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy my little feast...

I'm back... but not really

Im like 20 pounds lighter and around 3 inches off my waist but still the same. The past month had been shall I say life transforming and the next succeeding days is become more and more exciting each day.

I just finished what we call as the Leadership Development Course. It is a rigid one-month course where we live in tents with our M-16 rifles and train for combat leadership and learn the intricacies of an ordinary foot soldier -- the infantry man. With the help on a 10 kilo rucksack on my back, constant excercises I was not only able to lose weight (as if I have to) but also became stronger... I feel as if I'm superman :) But sad to say I can only report this things now as for some reason there is no internet connection inside the Philippine Military Academy.

Being forced to live simply under a tent, eating in individual mess kits and subjected to little or no rest kind of allowed me to mature more when it comes to appreciation of the things around me. I remember how much pleasure it gave me when finally I was allowed to use my cellphone during the holy week. It was also some sight just to see the other batch of my classmates who were then handling the plebes. My matress suddenly felt so special and a simple bath just blows me away. Deprivation can really do so many things to a person plus my appreciation to the many sacrifices that many of our soldiers out there, risking their lives and doing their duties. Somehow at the end of it all, I just wanted to learn more and do all the things well after coming to the realization that the things that I learn might spell out the difference between life and death for me when I go to the field to join the war out there. I guess for all of us there just comes a point in life when things that are important to us suddenly becomes crystal clear and we just have to decide once and for all that we have to take on the challenge and just do what we have to do. At the end of it all I am a better person.

Next in the many challenges that I have experienced in the past days is becoming a squad leader. Talking to an officer the other day, he simply said that it is the hardest job in the Cadet Corps. I realized that he just might be right. What I teach the plebes under me might break or make them as future leaders of this country. Imagine the life of a 17 something individual is suddenly placed on my shoulders and I teach them the ways of soldiery, the foundation of their life as soldiers. Every now and then, I am amazed by the innocence of the 7 young men under me, how my every word is taken very seriously and that I am looked up to as someone who is so great. I kind of felt the responsibility, imagine the things that I teach them will be the foundations of their concept in going about their training. Again, it is life changing but in a different way than that of the LDC, this time the future is somehow in your hands and thats scary. But then again, I must be capable for those above me entrusted me with the responsibility and every night I pray that I am being true to that responsibility. Well its just like that, a leader seeks responsibility and takes responsibility for their actions. Anyway I'll just post the pictures that I had for the past weeks....

Sabi ko naman pagod eh :)

Sabi nila in the armydaw takbo daw hanggang may lupa ayun naniwala naman ako

Ito yata ang dahilan at nabasan ng 3 inches waist line ko imagine I made 47 in one minute...

Ang tawag nila dito inverted crawl and you have to travel 100 meters in 33 seconds, ako I got 26 seconds... akala nyo madali mahirap no.... :)

Well siguro hanggang dito na lang muna I have to go :)