The results are out and I'm definitely out... hahaha. Well, the results of the Ramon Magsaysay Student Essay Competition is not something that I want but of course, there is always next time :) The truth is the moment I submitted that entry, I couldn't help but feel uneasy about the outcome of the result. As I said in my previous post, I do want to win. There were just so many mishap that I encountered from a lost essay because of a careless upperclass who just is insensitive enough to erase the content of the flashdisk he borrowed from me so accomodate his files. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, some upperclass can be such a jerk and I wonder how will they be when they become officers. Well, this is the thing that I hate in this hierarchial set-up we have here. Even if your senior is just a jerk, you allow yourself to be under his command even on instances that just does not seem right. The beauty is that you get to understand how it feels to be under a bad leadership and so you try your best to change that when your time comes to lead.
Last night, I did not feel good over an incident that happened inside the barracks. An upperclass committed an obvious honor violation against my classmate. It was very obvious that even those who do not know anything about the honor code can right away deduce that what happened was just wrong. My classmate, who was the victim of the incident, was asked if he wanted to report the upperclass but he declined. He reasoned that he was afraid that upperclass will get back to him and he might get into trouble. I did not feel good because the sense of honor of my classmate was so weak that he chose survival over being honorable. I feel bad because the upperclass will go on thinking that he can get away with an honor violation. I do not know how to deal with it frankly, I'm thinking of reporting both of them for toleration but that would have so many implications. For one, I know that the classmate in question is just afraid simply because PMA is his only means to alleviate his family from poverty. Second, it seems that I am meddling with their affairs. Tonight I'll be talking about this thing with some upperclassmen that I trust and some classmates and I hope I'll do the right thing. But the saddest thing about this whole incident is the obvious lack of sense of honor of the people I am with inside barracks. The "atmosphere of trust and confidence" that is expected within our cadet community is suddenly placed in question. And honestly, I do not want to be in an organization where I can not completely trust the person beside me, behind me, or worse, the person leading me. I'm praying hard for guidance.
I do not know what came into me this afternoon, I just decided to run. Well, in my last Physical Fitness Test several weeks ago, I felt bad because my time for the 3.2 kilometer run was 1 minute slower. I realized that the boodling during break and too much relaxation has taken it's toll. So I promised myself to run as often as I can. Yesterday, I ran up to gas dump, the distance was somewhere between 3 to 3.5 kilometers after which I took a swim at the pool to practice my strokes for the upcoming Intramurals. Then this afternoon, I ran with the plebes up to checkpoint, its roughly 5.5 kilometers. I came back to barracks with sweat just pouring out of my body, then slept for more than an hour. I woke several minutes before a duty for the PEEMAYER Board and Staff (its the group that conceptualizes the diaries and calendars that PMA gives out every year). Right now as I type this entry, my feet still aches and I wonder what came into me when I started running earlier. Of course, you also have to consider that running is a way of life for the cadets, in fact the distance that I went through was more of a routine distance, we even have this 15 km run every now and then. The average time for 5.5 kilometers is something between 20 to 25 minutes. My last 15 kilometer ran was something like 1 hour and 11 minutes. Again, I have to remind you that it is normal here, its nothing extra ordinary.
Physics has taken its toll, I mean I am having a hard time although not as hard as calculus. As of this writing, I think I am deficient by 3 points the most but if the last lesson exam will be cancelled then I'm clear... Anyway tha's all for now