Saturday, August 11, 2007

The lives that reverberate

I did not expect things to happen this fast, another one of my upperclass is dead in Sulu this time the person is closer to my heart.

With the life that we live here, living in constant interaction, force to socialize, people do stick to us and without our knowing we develop a kind of connection that perhaps makes up for the kind of brotherhood thing obvious among PMA graduates. In Sulu right now, there are countless of possibilities. The soldiers fighting there right now might be someone that I used to share a table with, someone who scolded me for doing something wrong, someone I simply know.The truth of the matter is, I do not want to know who is there, I'm afraid.

This morning another deafening silence came inside the mess hall. Before we were to take our breakfast, the First Captain announced: "Let us offer a one minute prayer to the late... so and so, of PMA class so and so... who died in an encounter yesterday in Sulu." In two consecutive breakfasts two of my upperclass are dead.

A friend of mine said: "But if i go on and ponder much on losing life and losing them, I'll just end up hating life." She is right but thinking about the people that we've lost in the past days, I really can't help it but ponder. Ponder on the fact that it was just yesterday that they wore the same uniform as I am wearing. I can't help but ask why them of all the many soldiers out there. And the most frightening, I'll be there in seven months. Yet I do not want to hate life. I love life and I will live it. The fear in me keeps on telling me things, yet I know I am where I should be.

People die even if they do not fight in Sulu. Although the thought can be promising the fact that they die is not that promising at all. Perhaps there is not promise. If it's your time it will be your time and not even an avoidance of war changes that. I am expecting the situation to escalate in the next coming days. Now with two more battalions conducting combat operations it will become dirty. More of my upperclassmen will come (I heard our new graduates who were assigned in Luzon are being recalled to be sent to Mindanao) and I know, even if I do not want to, some of them will have to pay the ultimate sacrifice. Their names will reverberate in my head every time the dreaded one minute prayer will be done in their honor. But then this is the life that God gave me and in seven months time, I just might find myself side by side with them. My prayer is that I will be ready when that time comes.

The lives of those who perished is never wasted for their spirit lives on telling me and I hope all others that life is but a mere expression of the purpose we are set out to do. My life will be just like that hoping that my fate will be good to me. Let us keep on praying to all the soldiers fighting for this country. Someday, I know we will all understand it.

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