I wanted to tell you how I feel but I do not know how to begin. The confusion that I am experiencing is something that I can not understand. I just know that it is from my heart and it is that feeling that keeps me alive these past days. The loneliness that I feel every now and then is overshadowed by the mere thought of the wonderful things that I remember about you. It is an irony that even if I try to remain within reason, the irrational part of me overtakes the very being that I try to uphold. I end up giving it all up and allowing myself to be swallowed by the vast emotions that my heart constantly whispers into my system.
It is not always that people have so much effect on my. Although I try my best to reach people in a deeper sense, it is not always that it goes to that. But you were different. You were somewhat of little flicker that kept on growing and growing eventually becoming a brushfire that has consumed my very existence. In the simplest way of putting it, you made my spirit alive. Every night as I try my best to get away from all the stress that contends me each day, I smile to the heavens realizing that you are in my life. The very thought of you makes me want to go on with what I do ignoring the frustrations and other dillemas and just continuing to believe in the beauty of what life has to offer. It is in the assurance that you are just there somewhere prods me to live life to the fullest, love the world and thank God for everything. My heart dwells on the thought of you and it lives in the belief that it is for your taking.
I say this now because I may not be able to say this to you. If the time comes that the opportunity will present itself for me to say all this to you then I would gladly say it but if not, this will become a testament of how my heart loved you dearly and that how you brought life to it. I do not know the future. Although I am hoping that it will be something where we will be together it is never a certainty, what is certain is my heart that hopes for certainty. I love you from the bottom of my heart.
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