New people I met

At around 3 am the other day, my cellphone received a business card from someone I do not know. The number was a she and after saving it, I just didn't bother anymore. A few moments the owner of the number rung me and so I sent a message asking who she is. To make the long story short she agreed to come to PMA and meet me personally bringing with her food that I like(some things really never change, nagpapalibre pa rin ako... hehehe). And so we talked for several hours about things in our lives. The things that she shared gave me new insights that I would like to share in this blog.

I was never always a good boy. I mean there was a point in my life when I tried doing things that if I continued to do would have destroyed my future. And so as she shared to me her life, the bad things that I did before seemed to go back to my memories. Somehow, I felt that I had to share to her the lessons that I learned during my own mischievous episode hoping that I can prevent her from wasting a part of her life. But as we went on with our conversation, I also realized that there are just things in every person's life that has to happen for that person to understand. Inasmuch as I want to help her, it was simply not my call to tell her what to do, I just have to allow her to go through the process just I went through my own process.

Its a wonder why sometimes we just have to watch people get hurt for us to be able to help them. I realized now that to a certain extent protection is not always the solution to a problem. As each of us go through our life we learn from our experiences, sometimes from others' experiences. But I know that everyone will agree that the best lessons in our life are those whose wounds we actually felt and whose solution we figured out ourselves.

Well, thats it for now, I will just write some more the next time around

Missing People

Academics has begun. I just hurdled to orientati0n on the subjects I will be taking for this semester and somehow I think I can relax a bit and still get good grades. With me being a secondclass now I kind of have a more relaxed environment compared to the previous years. Except for the plebes who constantly occupy me, the rest is just a breeze and friendster is starting to make me miss people. Just a while ago I was browsing through pictures in my high school classmate's account and I sure did feel so alone here in Baguio. I'm beginning to like the idea of spending my next break in Dumaguete especially after hearing stories from my upperclass who went to Dumaguete last Independence Day. I'm crossing my fingers that maybe they will allow cadets to facilitate the entrance exam this year, I will sure do everything just to be allowed to go to Dumaguete. And so I just release all this feelin in this blog just as I always do when I feel this way... well I just have to deal with my situation, maybe smile every now and then but still I miss the people.

The other people

Most people who know me well would say that my personality is so strong tha some people may get intimidated when I assert myself. I have had many experiences where people just hate my guts because I seem to know it all, very noisy and brutally honest. But then, I must say that its not something that I intend to do. I am just the type of person who is not so much affected with the way people see me. The friends that I really become close with are those who know me inside and out, who understand that I am not really a bad person only someone with annoying habits. And so I come here, don the cadet uniform believing that life will be well with the way I am as a person.

Unlike when I was a civilian, I can just walk away from people that do not like me, but then in PMA its a totally different story. In my plebe year, I had to submit myself under the authority of people who do not like me, harder still is that these people simply do not understand the way I do things. They assume that I just some stubborn person who is a threat to their upperclass ego. I wonder how they still feel threatened when the stripe they wear simply explains why I can not do anything against them. But I survived, when my first stripe grew, I reckoned that I individuality is the way to do it even inside this Academy. I encoutered some difficulties but I still managed and in time I was to wear another stripe. Now, I have three plebes under my watch and I wonder if the same principle still applies.

In the previous years, I can afford to alieanate the people that do not like the way I do things. I can survive with little friends. But now, can I alienate the people that will determine the success of how I do my job as a squad leader? Can I allow individuality affect my responsibility to my subordinates? The question haunts me as I aspire to do a good job at the responsibility given to me. As I put it in the latest Corps Magazine, responsibility just changes a person. And it is changing me big time that I am a little bit apprehensive on how things should be done. Suddenly I do not have that much confidence whether I can accomplish the task set before me.

In the way we deal with things, I realized that now other people matters. Even if they do not determine the outcome of it, how they react will affect the outcome of any task. We are in fact living in a world where everything is so close-knit that you affect another consciously or otherwise. When I begin to do my duty, I am haunted by the effect I have on people especially on the question of that effect being a good or bad one. The bottom line of it all is that when responsibility takes over the people around is already a consideration especially when their life depends on the decisions that you alone make. But then again, its not as if I have a choice. The reality is I have to succeed for the success of my being a squad leader will affect the future of three cadets who like me wanted to take advantage of the PMA experience. I hope

News bits....

The mid-year issue of Corps Magazine is out....

We're back at Academics... I survived summer camp..... YAHOO!!!

Its a brand new start... I'm crossing my fingers... grabe second class na ako.... nagsimula akong magblog dito plebo pa lang ako... time really flies so fast...

People and more people

Hindi ko naman talaga alam ano isusulat ko... ano ba bago. Basta I realized that I just wanted to play with the keyboard as I find myself alone on my break. Although my phone is very busy with so many friends asking me out, I don't seem to like accepting their invitation. I just wanted to talk and the one person that I really wanted to talk to has a meeting so she's out, in the end malamang I will spend the night "socializing" with people who seems to love me because I am some cadet from the Philippine Military Academy. They will barrage me questions about PMA, whether there is maltreatment, how are the females treated and all other questions that never seem to ran out from the curious minds of so many individuals. Of course not all of them are like that but I'm just preparing myself to create the wonderful image expected of a PMA cadet once I meet them later tonight. I actually have somehow made up my mind to go with someone and has asked another lady friend to chaperone me. I do not know what will happen, I'm in tshirt and jeans so we'll just see.

Once I go back to Baguio tommorrow, I will join another company as a reasult of the realignment. Of course I felt bad having to leave my company and then adjust again to the new group of cadets I will be living with hopefull for the remaining two years of my cadetship. But I have always allowed reason to guide me and although the feeling is not good I still submit that my superiors knew what they were doing for implementing such a policy, I just hope I'll cope up with these new changes soon.

Ano pa ba???

Ayoko talagang mag pakaserious muna, naubos na yata sa article ko sa Corps Mag ah basta all is well and I am looking forward to the regular corps now with two stripes on my shoulder and hopefully as a squad leader.... Grabe naalala ko tuloy yung crush ko na hindi ko nasulatan... hmmmph... that gives me an idea... sige na babush

Here's the real update with a sense

Sabi ko kanina wala akong maisip na isulat, ngayon meron na kaya I am writing before the ideas ran out.

While I was walking towards the barracks this afternoon, I suddenly realized that my dresscoat now has a chevron. For those people who is not aware what a chevron is, it is that thing that we have in our uniforms to signify our present ranks in the Corps. Mine is a sergeant the highest I'll ever get as a second class cadet. Surprisingly this is also the first time that I get to wear one. The thing is that as I was walking and noticed the difference in my uniform now, I just realized how time flew so fast. Imagine this, I am now a squad leader to seven plebes. Its a wonder that despite of the fact that all of them are over the age of 17, they seem to be little children who believes everything that I say. Their fascination to the things that I tell them is just so enchanting that I can not help it but continue to do what I do. To these seven individuals, I control their world, I tell them what to do, how to do it and when to do it. I basically own them. See how time flies so fast. Last year, I was thrilled with having a fourthclass buddy. I was so glad that finally I am able to have someone to teach and to train the way I want it to be. At that time, I do not have so much freedom, I was limited to very minimal instructions and role modeling. I was very contented then. I felt that it was such an overwhelming feeling. But now, what more can I ask-- I have seven. The thing is I exercise more authority over these seven individuals. I practically dictate if they will survive the summer camp. The bottom line is things just happen so fast that by the time I realize it I might just leave PMA and off to the real world and fight the real war out there. Yes, the inevitable is obvious, we will all get old. The things that we hate now will just become memories that we will laugh about and wonder why we even bothered to consider it a problem in the first place. The things that we cherish will become lasting reminders of the beautiful life we are living... and of course our dreams will become nearer and nearer to reality. Several years ago I was a young man of 17 wanting to go to PMA. Then I became a depressed young man who was discharged from the Academy and felt that life is just so bad. Then I became an excited fourth class who just wanted to go back to PMA and continue what I have started. Then I was a yearling praying and studying hard to pass Calculus. And now I am a squad leader to seven young plebes whose cadetship depends on how I train and mold them. What's next? Well I can just imagine, what I am sure of is that it will just get better and better....