A Star from Heaven

I am hoping to capture my emotion over the birth of my beautiful baby girl who was born healthy last 13 September. I am hoping that in the future she will be able to read my thoughts and be reminded how loved she is.

I always wanted a daughter. I have a very long explanation why I wanted a daughter but that would have to be in a different blog, for now I just want to write how I feel about the whole miracle of being given a wonderful gift from God.

People say that first time fathers would have many different feelings when their child is about to be born. For my part I was more excited that worried. Somehow, I was having this feeling of confidence that all will be well. I have faith that my wife will be able to go through with her labor pains and delivery very well and I knew I was ready for fatherhood. What went through my mind mostly was the things that I wanted to do with my daughter when she is able to bond with his father. More importantly how will I be as a father to her.

Being in the military, I knew this was difficult. In my experience as a son of a military man, there were very few instances when my father had the time to be with us. Deciding to join the military, this was one of the very serious issues that were part of the considerations in my decision. The clincher was that others have done it and so can I.

Most of my friends think that I have already thought of the whole thing and that it would be very easy for me. Well, its true that I have done a lot of thought about fatherhood per sec, but nothing really prepares one for the coming of a human being that is given under your care. I think no amount of philosophy or know how can explain the whole experience of fatherhood unless one has to really do it. And so, I went to my life philosophies and remember the things that I value most in this life.

I want her to grow up believing that family is the basic foundation of anything in this world. I want her to always remember that it is from the family where all of life's fulfillment comes from and that no amount of success in whatever field can compensate for failure in the family.

I want her to know that the life that we live has nothing to do with certainty. And it is because of that that one has to develop an attitude of faith based on principles coming from a supreme being. A life lived in faith of a wonderful God who takes care of all our worries is a life lived to the fullest. It is also a life that is not bothered by the bitter realities of the world but one that is sheltered with hopeful endeavors always for the good no matter the diffuculties. More importantly, it is a life lived with contentment and noble aspirations.

Finally I want her to always live by the wisdom of the fox in the Little Prince. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.

I want my beautiful Star to remember that I prayed for her and she was given to me. I want her to know that although I will never be able to the best in all of the things that I will go into (including fatherhood), my most important accomplishment will always be being a father to her and maybe to others that will follow after. With this blog as my witness, I am believing that ll will be well no matter the circumstances. Please pray for me people.

For more of her pictures visit my multiply site

Silliman University: Soaring through 108

I just realized recently that in this blog, I have always highlighted my being from PMA. I will try to correct that now in time with the 108th Founding Anniversary of my another alma mater, Silliman University. I also have to point out that much of the things that I am thankful now were nurtured while studying in this revered institution.

My parents at one point have been Sillimanians. My mother graduated from Silliman High School in 1968 and Political Science in 1972 while my father took a year as a Political Science student before he went to PMA. It was really my mother who insisted that I study there; and with the many stories I have heard from her and my other relatives (who were practically a bunch of Sillimanians), it was not a suprise that I was very much excited when the time came that I was to enter the lofty portals of Silliman University.

I was 12 years old and as I recall it now it was not that easy. I did not know anybody since I left all my friends in Manila where I graduated elementary. As an added problem, although I understood Cebuano, I did not know how to speak it. My only consolation was that my elder brother was with me (he was in fourth year then). I could remember how I felt very different with the new environment. My classmates sort of knew each other as most of them graduated from Silliman Elementary School. Those of us who were new (especially me) knew nothing of everything.

My first friend was someone that I sat with in THE Class (that's Technology and Home Economics). I remembered asking him how to have my School ID. Since he had been in Silliman all his life, he had all the information I needed. He accompanied me to a local photo studio Image Bank where I had my picture taken and then brought me to Hibbard Hall to process it. From that point on we became good friends. To this day, he remains a very good friend everytime I visit Dumaguete.

I can not fully remember how things happened in school then but every now and then I can remember bits and pieces of it when something triggers it. In one occassion I was out with one friend who was then at UP Diliman. We were walking around the campus when the Acacia trees reminded me of the Silliman Campus. I remember most especially the one in front of Silliman High School where I will sit and wait. I remember then how I will ask all the people that I know who passes there for one peso. I would reason that I need it for fare (at that time fare was 2 pesos). By the time I decide to leave that place, I would have around 50 pesos in my pocket. Today, that same act is called "kotong."

High School banter was also a large part of how my life was. I could remember how I ended up inside the Principal's Office to explain why my class went on an outing over the weekend without getting school permission. That was my task as Class President and remembering it now, I would believe that it was primarily the reason why I was elected president in the first place -- to answer to the principal when we get involve in any form of mischief.

I also could not forget how clueless a Korean classmate on the hysteria of the whole Silliman High School when some all-male group entered the Gymnasuim. That all-male group was the Eraserheads who just recently released their Circus Album. Then there was one teacher who always wore violet (I hope she's not reading this) to school, up to now I can not explain how I passed her biology subject. That teacher by the way had a PhD.

Well, I was not entirely bad. I mean those were normal for High School students. In spite of those shortcomings, I was very much involved in Boy Scouting and Debating. I was part of the group that hike to Balinsasayaw Twin Lakes. I think today it's easier to go there but back when I was in Third Year High School, it was very very difficult. I went to a National Jamboree and was the Scout Representative for the Local Executive Board of the Boy Scouts. My only frustration in scouting is that I was not able to make it to Eagle Scout, I was a few months short as I already graduated from high school.

Anyway, the point of this blog is that I am thankful for the experience that I had studying in Silliman University. It was there that I met countless friends that have a very special place in my heart. It was there that I learned the value of education and at the same time be able to enjoy that fact. Today I find myself realizing the value of education as I go about my task now as part of the Armed Forces.

Of course, the Silliman Spirit is a familiar feeling that I try to find every now and then. When one goes to a different place, we find some sense of connection. When I first came here, I was able to meet one Sillimanian. Our conversation took us back to the Silliman Campus that gave the feeling of nostalgia. When something makes such a big impact in your life, it can never really be forgotten.

Last week, I received a text message from the Matriarch of CAUSE Party. For those who know Silliman, CAUSE Party is a political party in campus. Technically a political party for the Student Government, its actually a family that has grown through the years from its humble beginning as a mere group wanting to serve the Silliman Studentry. Back in the days, I was part of the Student Government that lead the studentry of the University to a mass walk-out in the class rooms to protest the series of tuition fee increases in the past years. I look back to that experience and still consider it as part of the highlight of being a Sillimanian, I'm sure that all the others with me have the same sentiment. The text message was asking for confirmation whether or not I will attend the slated Grand Reunion. Inasmuch as I want to, I had so many things to do plus of course the coming of my baby girl in a few weeks time. I confirmed that I was not coming filled with wonderful memories as a Sillimanian.

After my graduation from PMA, I attended my cousin's pinning ceremony as a new nurse. Singing the Silliman Song was such a wonderful feeling. I promised myself that my children will be able to experience the same feeling. I feel that the experience is just so good not to share it with them. Thinking of how it had been not so long ago I am realizing how true Silliman Song is as it becomes a monument in the life of everyone who has passed through her halls.

"...Silliman our Alma Mater

Ever lovely ever dear..."

(Note: The picture I used is the banner in the Silliman Website, I hope the owner of the banner will not take it against me)

Irresponsible MIS-information

A few weeks ago, I was tasked to sit in a meeting attended by members of a certain Barangay. The meeting was initiated by a Redemptorist Priest conducting Mission work in the parish. It was a task that was simply given to me due to an absence of another officer so I had no idea what the meeting was all about. Coming to the venue, I was given the usual reception and sat in front.

At first, I was bored with the meeting. I did not see the point of me attending that meeting while they discuss matters about their GKK (for Gagmayng Kristyanong Katilingban). To my surprise, towards the end I was to witness something so disconcerting that I had to expose it even if only through this blog.

One of the pressing issues in my present area is the putting up of a Coal Powered Power Plant. That barangay that I went to was the Barangay where this structure was to be constructed. As part of the military, we had no business taking sides on any of the contradicting issues that surround the project. And so sitting there while this priest was discussing his obvious bias against the project, I had to remember my uniform and keep silent despite the prodding of my heart.

The priest talked about how this project will destroy the environment and all other negative effects of the said project. Admittedly, all of what he said had valid grounds. The thing that bothered me is how he disguised his intention into an exposure of the truth for the people to be able to decide for or against such project without the slightest mention of the other side of the issue. When one of those in the audience asked if he offered any alternative means for the people in that locality to improve their lives he had none. He just had this constant jabber on how this project can be bad for the locality.

I particularly did not like how he took advantage of the people’s little knowledge on the issues. Yes, he was convincing, but he was simply scheming to sway people to support his cause. In reality, he was not giving the people the opportunity of an informed choice rather he was brainstorming him to support his bias. This is what disgusts me.

I would have appreciated him if he did not bring the name of the Catholic Church. I have a very high respect for the clergy because I believe that they are supposed to set the morality of society. To be honest, most of the values that I have as a person are Christian in origin. But meeting him makes me realize that those who have decided to dismiss faith as an integral part of their life had valid ground. I feel that, as a priest, he had more responsibility in providing the people with the right information for them to decide intelligently. Listening to him, I felt that he had no concern to address the true concern of the people; his only goal was to stop the construction of this controversial power plant, very unbecoming of a priest.

Again, I reiterate that I had no issue for or against the putting up of that power plant. I feel that my responsibility is not to the power plant but to the people that I serve. I believe that it is my responsibility, as a public servant, is to allow the free flow of ideas related to that matter. Whatever the outcome, it will be because it was the true choice of the people rather than a victory of those who had better brainstorming methods.

You see, like soldiers, the priesthood has this moral ascendancy to the people. When we do something, we have some form of effect on the people that we interact with. The kind of person that we are has a big impact on the people that we serve. I believe that is the reason why we are expected to become leaders. This vocation will never escape leadership thus the importance of responsibility.

Going back to that incident, it was not responsibility that was shown rather it was purely taking advantage of one’s moral ascendancy to put forward a selfish interest. Whatever the issues are, I think that each person will choose what will benefit them. Our job is to help them make good choices by providing them the right information without any bias. When that audience asked what alternatives are being offered by the priest to improve their lives, it was a clear manifestation that he was indeed weighing his options before making a choice. I believe the people who attended that meeting would have done the same if only they were provided with the necessary information.

In the time when people had no idea what lies beyond what we know now as the Atlantic Ocean, a lot of theories came out. Some said that there were giant monsters beyond it; others claimed that it was a dead end to the edge of the world. It took one brave explorer (I think its Christopher Columbus but I am not sure) to sail through it and discover what he would call the New World. Going back to his native country, he realized that he had that responsibility to provide the information of his discovery to the people. That information allowed the Early Puritans who wanted to escape persecution to decide to travel to that New World and establish the first colonies of what was to become the United States of America.

The outcome of the Power Plant project is something that we will never know now. But like how it has always been in history, information becomes an important factor. In an age where information is everywhere, I think there is more responsibility to provide it to the people that need it. More importantly, I think there is greater evil in denying information to those who need it.

I just feel great

I have not really announced it formally in this blog but most of the closest friend who follow this blog have been informed that I got married last April. Not that I am trying to hide the information, its just that I also do not see the need to announce it to everybody, I do not think that I am some celebrity that people have to know what are the new things that I did with my life, well the thing is I did get married and I am enjoying every bit of it.

Well getting married is not really a surprise to me. For one, I have always knew myself as the marrying type. I feel that raising a family is always the best foundation of wanting to become a good person. People who think that to be good at something has nothing to do with family is totally insane. After graduating from the academy (yehey!!!) I felt that things that I will be doing had to have some form of fulfillment. Well the salary that I get monthly did not give me that, in most cases before I got married, I wake up and realize that have done nothing productive with the money that I earned. There were times that I envied my classmates who had siblings that they help sending to school, at least they will have that satisfaction of being able to help another person. The time came when I no longer derive that much pleasure at staying late and enjoying the music of some live band. The glitz and glamour of being a young and dashing Army Lieutenant was not that enjoyable either. Well, at first, the idea of being a "crush ng bayan" was fun but when you realize that none of this people have seen the real you it becomes frustrating. In most cases, these "admirers" have been betrayed by the idea brought about by the coming of a telenovela entitled "Tayong Dalawa." They seem to have forgotten that although PMA Graduates are portrayed in that series as positive, in the real world, what makes a person is not their being PMAyers but actually the kind of person they are deep inside. And as I said, they seem not to be interested with these things, its just the idea that they are so and so with that young and dashing lieutenant. And so when she came, it was simply heaven sent.

To be honest, it surprised me how marriage life occurred to me the way it occurred to me. I mean, this blog is a witness how I sort of envisioned my love life to be some form of fairy tale. Thinking about it now, I realized that its not actually the exact events that makes our love life fairy tale-like. Its more about the amount of love and commitment you put into it. Sometimes you don't actually need an explanation for it, you just know that deep inside you are in love and that you are willing to give it all.

I think I have found my place in this world at this stage of my life. I have a career that fulfills me as a person, a loving wife that is so adorable without her knowing it and, the grandest of it all, a baby girl that will come soon.

I realized that sometimes, our imaginations are so filled with elaborate details on how we are to be happy. We dwell too much on these thoughts that we fail to live according to the moment and enjoy its many surprises. I think the best things in this life can be found on the simple things. It does not need so much of rationalization or imagination, its just faith. Its more of embracing the present and trying your best to become a better person each day believing on the good things to come.

I love you people.

Totally hating Tayong Dalawa... again

Reading from underside, I just had to write another one of my morbid criticism about the first soap opera that I totally hate. This was supposed to be a comment on Nina's Blog but realized that I could totally put everything in one blog entry.

The thing that bothers me with this soap opera is that it totally lacks some form of responsibility in the way they portray their plot. When they first came out, they capitalized mostly on people's curiousity (and popularity) of the Philippine Military Academy. Although it is true that application to the Academy went up because of the show, they seem to have forgotten the whole point why PMA is PMA in the first place. I hate the fact that they do not have the slightest effort to find out what the Academy does to its graduates and incorporate it to the kind of characters that the two David Garcias portray. In the show, PMA is just some history that has nothing to do with their characters period. Their portrayal as officers also have the same flaw. For one, I hate the fact that Dave is able to go home everyday from work as if he has an 8 to 5 work schedule. I wish I had that kind of assignment. They are also so off in the kind of "missions" that Jake Cuenca's character handle. I think I do not have to point the obvious difference of the PNP and the AFP . It would have been more believable if they were wearing the blue uniform chasing those gun runners. Even if they are terrorists, they were clearly stepping into the responsibility of the Police which goes after criminals. I especially hate it when Dave goes the extra mile of putting on that black thing on his face, its just ridiculous, it does not serve a purpose operating in an urban terrain. Again, all thanks to the irresponsible writing done by the writers of the show.

Another very recent scenario also bothers me. When Audrey's father Stanley was convicted of murder, his mother was implicated for not giving off her son to the authorities. The way I remember it in my law class, a person can not be implicated if they do not alert the authorities about the crimes of a relative. Our laws have particularly stipulated that since it is natural for any person to protect their relatives even if they have committed henious crimes.

The thing is, being in media entails a lot of responsibility. Even if these shows are purely for entertainment, there is not doubt that those who patronize it attribute what they see to the real world that they live in. When one writes something that will have an impact on people, they must be careful and bear in mind the implications of what they write about to their audience.

It is true that the show is a success business wise. I have had countless debates regarding my comments on the show with people who love the show, but that does not excuse the writers to be irresponsible. I think with ABS-CBN becoming more and more aware of their great impact to our country should start thinking of inculcating responsibility as one of their cornerstones not just in their news and public affairs offering but also in their other shows.

Now, people will begin to ask why I am still watching it despite of me hating it. For one I do not necessarily watch it because I like it, I watch it because everybody practically watchest and from where I am, its only Channel 2 or dvds. I pity the people that I watch it with because what they see in that television set is what they will believe in. To be honest I have become more popular because of the show, but then again it is never an excuse for lack of responsibility.