And then there were Three

I have no intention to write a blog right now, but a thought keeps on coming out of my head. In my experience, these kind of thoughts are ideas that I have that often come out well when I write it. I am hoping this will come out good as well.

The things that I do now seem to revolve around a little baby girl that smiles very adorably. In the past days that she has been with us, it has been my observation that her actions are like that of a 6 month old baby. Looking at her, I just feel that her movements are somewhat "oldie" for her. But of course, it tickles me when I watch her innocence.

A few months back, I did not know that things will turn out very good as what it is now. You see, the real reason that I did not write much about me getting married and then having a baby is that I, too did not expect that things will happen the way it is supposed to happen. It just happen the way it did.

Getting married was more stressful than what I thought it would be. I think I have never been that disorganized in my whole life than the days leading up to my wedding. But I must say that it was not the act of getting married that stressed me out, it was more of the preparations and all the things in my head most especially the financial aspect of it. When it was finally over, I was more than happy to embrace marriage with my wife and the wonderful life after it. We did not have much of honeymooning to do as she was already pregnant. The beauty of it was that immediately, we had something to share and something to look forward to. I am not so sure how is it with other couples but I enjoy my wife the most when we talk about plans for the future, about our life ahead together and the family that we will be building together. The moments that I could remember very well are those that we spend lying in bed together just talking about these things until late in the evening.

When her tummy got bigger, I began to develop another enjoyment. If I was not talking to the little girl inside her tummy, I would be very comfortable putting my hand over it. Sometimes, when I had to be out for several days, I would miss holding that tummy. I think its the amazement of the life growing inside her and the fact that it was my daughter inside her. When we lie in bed and talk about so many things, we would fall asleep with my hand securely fastened over her tummy. Somehow, I felt very secured sleeping in that position. When in public and I find it awkward to kiss my wife, I would just hold her tummy and get the same feeling as that when I kiss her.

As the months progressed and she was getting closer to giving birth, our conversations became more concrete on the things that we wanted to do. On her last check-up, she was excited as ever. When her doctor said that her cervix has already opened up (4 cm), we were surprised, she was feeling normal. We were instructed to go to the hospital on the same day. Well, we did that after she ate her favorite dessert in the mall.

In the labor room, I was the only one allowed to be with her. Somehow, it made me feel easier since she was just smiling while the other women in labor around her were already in so much pain. I loved her more realizing how strong she is as a woman. After she delivered our little girl, it was as if she just came back from jogging. Well, I am proud of her and at the time happy that she delivered normally. When I finally saw our little girl in the nursery from the viewing room, I can not describe my feeling. I did not have anybody with me and nobody to share any of what I am feeling. When other people comment how cute my baby is, it was as if my heart got bigger.

The sad news came when we learned that the baby had to stay at the hospital for some minor complications. Going home from the hospital without a baby was very sad. I hope not many first-time parents will be able to experience it. The first night out of the hospital without our baby, was simply painful. I hated touching her already soft belly, it was as if the absence of our baby is being shoved into my senses. I kept stopping myself from bothering our pediatrician about the status of our baby. I understood it was for the best but was confronted with the feeling of absence of my daughter. When she was finally to be released two days after, I had the biggest smile. My princess is finally going home.

Well, fatherhood changes a lot of things about a person. For me who had thought of being a father back when I did not even had a girlfriend, it is so fulfilling how things come into place without us realizing that these are the thigns that we have aspired and prayed for long ago. As men, we are often expected to percieve being a parent differently from our wives. Now, I realized that those are just things that have been molded by our patriarchal culture. I am glad to accept now that although I may not be always be ready to talk about it, becoming a parent is the ultimate fulfillment of any person. To nurture a young child will definitely be a wonderful experience.

Now going back to the thought that lead me to write this piece. My head simply reiterates the words: And then there were three. Well three there is, a good number to start a family.

God Bless you people