Just another blog

I have been busy and finally the Internet is back in the Academy. Well here's my piece.

I wish to continue on writing about being a soldier first and writer only second. As I was thinking more of that topic, so many new ideas are coming and I am learning more reasons on why I should share these thoughts?

How many people can actually say they are doing something that they believe God has intended for them. I may not be able to fully explain how I have come to that conclusion but as I always say, God speaks to us as we experience our faith and I am lucky that in this area of my life I am sure of it.

Well, this is not to claim that I have some gift of diving prophecy of some sort but this is just to support my reason for choosing things. As with giving up writing for the magazine altogether, I have realized that it is following a path that has been drawn out for me to follow. Not that I will forget the joy I experienced in being able to write my pieces for the magazine, but I will submit to whatever it is that God has planned for me. I know it is not always easy because even as I write this now, I wish that I was doing what I enjoyed doing. But in my experience as a person, I have learned that the things we do in our life is a reflection of the kind of person that we are. And for me, I choose to be a person that submitted myself to the divine being. It may not something that people will consider as wise but it is the desire of my heart to follow a whisper I heard in my journey for this life.

I want to share about something that really got to me a few days back. You see, I am the kind of person who totally hates it when people force me to do something. I hate it more when they insist on it and then connect it to some problem I have either with attitude or just being plain stubborn. I believe that I have become more tolerant to people like this through the years but I can not stand it when the way I see things is not respected and worse, being offended because of that is considered a laughing matter. I am sorry if there are things about me that people do not understand, I personally think that I do not need to explain myself to everybody. I am sorry that I can not always give in to people for the reason that there are certain things about me that make me the kind of person that I am. But I also say that I am entitled to be myself. A choice to do something should be respected especially if it is more of a preference rather than a question of morality or ethics. I hate it the most when people take lightly the things that are important to me much more laugh at it. I believe it is more insulting to do something against your will just because you do not want to be impolite, if that is the definition of politeness then I'd rather be impolite. I just want to say that, as I said it got to me and I hate it.

Well I have to go now, there is not much sense on me at this point till then....

Soldier first and writer only second

I was with very good company last night enjoying my time out of the Academy for some well deserved break. I am now in Manila typing this entry and I just had to share some insights I had last night.

The friends that I was with last night where people I met during the press conference in 2006. We have become friends since then and so I find time when I am able to go out to meet up with them. These people are writers for their own school paper and like me we share the same passion for being able to express our ideas into words. We got into the discussion why I wasn't supposed to be going on break and I shared to them a thought that I haven't really discussed with anybody before.

At the height of my frustration over the trouble that I got myself into because of writing, I found comfort on the promise that I will come out of that experience a better person. If one would just browse through my entries in the early parts of January 2007. It was more of a combination of uncertainty and renewed hope despite my fear of the so many things that were happening. Althought I kept on crying to myself I also knew that it was part of the process that I had to go through. I started to think about the whole thing as a learning experience and took the effort to really appreciate everything that was happening to me. I thanked everything good that was coming out of it but all of it where part of a defense mechanism so that I will not go down into serious frustration. Once and for all, I bid my "writing career" goodbye with bitterness in my heart. But in the past weeks after that I have come to accept what has happened and has in fact understood what the whole thing taught me and I can just be thankful... I am sharing it now.

You see, I was in a situation where I was able to discover something that I really like to do. The reason that this blog exists is because I have found comfort in being able to express myself in words. Somehow, writing is a way to keep my soul alive. That is basically the reason why I enjoyed my being a writer in the Philippine Military Academy. I took it upon myself to learn the craft and be really good at it. Those efforts where not in vain since, modesty aside, I could say I was recognized to be a good writer by most of the people around me. Later did I know that my next lesson will attack that very part of me.

When you have come to a point where people recognize you to be good at something, you come to enjoy the attention that you would want to have more of it. In due time, I did not only aspire to write good articles, but I also wanted to beat everyone in the writing scheme. Although it was a good thing because I was constantly trying to improve myself, I was not able to check my heart in dealing with it. I became so attached to being a writer that I forgot some of the things that I should be focusing on. Not being named the editor in chief became the first major setback upon which I tried to seek redemption by proving to everyone again that they where wrong. I was not aware at the time that it was supposed to be a wake up call for me to reevealuate my priorities and redirect my purpose of being a cadet in the first place.

When I was reprimanded very badly while researching for an article that I was supposed to write, I fought it and argued that my credibility as a writer should have been given consideration. In my soul searching in trying to understand why these things happened I realized that I was being called to make a choice. It was a choice of being the best writer or being the best soldier -- meaning being a good follower to my commander. Yes, I can be a very good writer but the fact remains that the reason why I am at the Philippine Military Academy is because I am to become good SOLDIER. It is not a question fo whether or not I really did something wrong. At the point where I was to make a decision, will I be a writer or a soldier?

I came to the understanding that in the years that I have been given recognition as a writer, it raised my ego to a level that I forgot that I was to become a soldier -- not a writer. It was a question of following my superior and not of being a good writer. I realized that my being able to write in the magazine for three years and gained recognition while at it was enough bonus considering that everything in my existence as a cadet was directed towards being a soldier. It was a case of losing focus and having a painful wake up call. I have learned to let go of my angst on whether or not I was indeed a good writer but have decided to be a good soldier.

I still can not fathom how all of these realizations came into place but I am very confident that I am in the right place. It is true that I love writing, it is true that it sets my soul free but all of these things are just bonuses that were given to me out of the goodness of God, what remains true is that I should be a soldier first and a writer only second.

Thank you Lord for everything....

As I don my third stripe

I now wear my third stripe on my shoulder. The reality has not yet fully sinked in but I am beginning to feel the weight of what that third stripe meant. A few years back, I did not contemplate on coming to this point but then again time flies and reality creeps in and we just have to accept and cherish the inevitable.

In 2005, when I had my first stripe, it was more of a feeling of being able to do what I want to do. I took it as a reprieve from the torments of the upperclassmen having another class more junior to me. It was also a time where I slowly contended with responsibility looking forward to the time when I will have my fourthclass buddy to teach what I have learned. I encountered a lot of things foremost of which was my battle against my deficiency in Calculus.

When I had my second stripe, it was more of a feeling of being surprised at the fact that I had another stripe. I was not able to think much since everything came so fast, the Leadership Development Course, the Plebe Detail, the Field Training Exercises. All of these activities required that I practice a huge amount of maturity in leading those below me. It was that stage where people are already guage the kind of leader I will become. As the year rolled on, I struggled with deficiency in Statistics and of course a very difficult battle with demerits, touring, confinement and of course, hazing. Even as I type this entry, I am still feeling the grunf of all those things as I am not able to go on break because of my touring and confinement. But then again I am still victorious because on my shoulders now are three stripes the last that I will have before the much coveted vix (that's the insignia of a lieutenant).

And so I wrap up this entry with being thankful for all the things I have experienced in the past years. This blog has been a witness to my journey as a cadet of the Philippine Military Academy. Well, there is still one year ahead and I hope this adventure will continue to lift me up and make me a better person.

I am looking forward to the coming year....

Duty First: A Book Review

I am presently reading Absolutely American by David Lipsky. I intend to write a book review about it once I am done. I am no longer with the Corps Magazine so more likely the review will remain as an entry in this blog. Anyway, I decided to publish a book review of another book about Westpoint that I have read about two years ago... here it is:

“Book Review: Duty First: West Point and the Making of American Leaders by Ed Ruggero”


Like a precious diamond, a leader has to undergo a hard process for them to become valuable. This is very well explained in Ed Ruggero’s book Duty First: West Point and the Making of American Leaders.

The book follows the lives of different personalities inside America’s Premier School of Leadership, the United States Military Academy. The author, being a former cadet, gives a remarkable picture on how life is inside the halls of this institution. The book, which spans a year, jumps from one person to another, from the lowest plebe, the squad leaders, the graduating cadets up to the Superintendent himself. Published in time for West Point’s 200th anniversary, it is meant to inform the public on the how the leaders from West Point are trained and developed into fine young men and women.

As in the life of every cadet, everything begins with the first day, In the case of the book, it begins on 29 June 1998 the day the Class of 2002 reports for duty, R-Day as they call it, the day they formally become cadets (new cadets for now). Bob Friesema, Jacque Messel and Pete Haglin are the three personalities focused in this part of the book. They begin as young teenagers having the distinction of being accepted as cadets. Some are hesitant to make the final decision while others are very eager to come. At this stage, almost everything is uncertain, the parents wonder if their child will make it and fit in, the new cadets fear the unknown while the administration, the officers and the upperclass cadets, who will train these new cadets are not sure if they have prepared enough for this day. The anticipation then shifts to the rigorous training of “Beast” were the new cadets learn the most basic and essential part of their training – obedience. Everything does not seem to make sense for everything seems to happen so fast and everything they do is a mistake. They learn to follow an order to the last letter. The lives of the three new cadets are now undergoing a drastic change from being normal kids in their old high schools; suddenly they begin their West Point experience.

Another perspective is also shown – that of the upperclass cadets and the officers. Grady Jett, Shannon Stein, Greg Stitt and Alisha Bryan are secondclass cadets (third year), who are now trying to define themselves as leaders to their new cadets. Like the new cadets, they also wonder whether or not they are doing a good job as leaders. They try to fuse the concepts they learn, their own experiences and the wisdom handed down to them by their superiors; juggle all of these concepts and try their best to be the best leaders they can. At this stage, Kevin Bradley, a firstclass cadet (fourth year) also learns to command a company under the guidance of his Tactical Officer, Major Rob Olson. Again, another style of leadership is illustrated and another method of teaching is employed. The company commander learns to decide on his own while the Tac (Tactical Officer) employs a method to teach Bradley how is it to be in charge of a Company.
As Beast ends, the characters again face another challenge crucial to their training as leaders – academics. The new cadets adjust to the system of academics in their new school and the way they handle themselves amidst the other requirements they have to meet. Here, the new cadets, now called as plebes, try to understand the system that will change them from taking orders to giving out orders in the coming years. The grueling academics is coupled with other competencies that they must master; athletics, table duties, plebe knowledge and even current events. More important also is that they begin to understand the facets of leadership they observe. They begin to make their own preferences regarding different leadership styles applied to them. Little by little, they begin to form their own concept of themselves as leaders.

There is also a very good illustration on another essential part of their training – athletics. The cadets, who are mostly talented athletes, are now faced with expectations, not just from their instructors but expectations of the soldiers they will lead once they graduate. So many issues are addressed from that of women being considered physically inferior to the pressure of maintaining a slim body. Believe it or not, like any other colleges in the US, West Point is not spared from eating disorder cases within the Corps of Cadets.

The most crucial also is in the area of character building foremost of which is the Cadet Honor Code. The description is very vivid on the implementation of the Honor System, to how it is taught to the cadets and to the various opinions regarding the code. In the recent years, drastic changes have been done in the implementation of the code. The new Superintendent has deviated from the previous doctrine of absolute dismissal once found guilty; instead, other punitive measures are applied to the cadet, the goal of which is rehabilitation. The rationale is that since West Point is a learning institution anyone must be given the chance to fail for failing is an important part of learning.

Finally, the year ends. The soon to be yearlings are now preparing themselves for the new responsibility they will shoulder, the secondclassmen are ready to take on greater responsibilities as firstclassmen and the new lieutenants wonder if they really are prepared for the real thing at the same time nostalgic over leaving their home for the last four years. The book is very enlightening. It was as if I can see myself inside the pages. The making of a leader is not an easy process as very much shown in the book. I have come to realize the various aspects of leadership and like the cadets in the book, wonder whether or not the process I am going through will prepare me for the real thing. At certain points, I was taken aback by the experiences of the main personalities, realizing that their own angst mirror the kind of feeling I have regarding my training. The reality of what is waiting for me out there is very much superimposed. Reading the book allowed me to make an assessment of myself realizing the magnitude of the responsibility I am being prepared for. This book is also very apt to other students of leadership. The concepts illustrated are very much basic and can be applied even in areas other than the military. I definitely recommend it to everybody

Looking back

In most of the cases that I write in this blog, I do not have the slightest idea how to begin. At first I just try to get my "flow" with the ideas, let the words appear on the screen and then I come up with something and I enjoy the process. When I read back my blog entries, I realized that those that I really like are the ones that was a result of this process. And so here it goes again.

There are about three days before the graduation of the Class of 2007. I spent half of the day standing one the field today practicing the parade for the turn-over ceremonies this sunday. As for me, I will go on as the Personnel Officer of the Company (that's the Company S1 in military terms). Having gone through so many different experiences as a cadet there are so many things that I have learned and perhaps as the academic year is moving towards its conclusion, I might as well look back and reflect on the things that have happened.

My fondest memory as a PMA cadet to date is being a squad leader to my seven plebes during summer camp. Not that the three plebes I had on the regular semester were less significant, its just that they were the first and somehow first times just stand out. It was there how I learned to appreciate how hard it is to let go of the things that they have believed in before they become cadets. It was in that experience that I learned to analyze myself more just to make sure that I really was worthy in nurturing these young dreamers. It was also with them that I learned the value of doing my best especially when people are depending on you. In the more than a month that I was with them, I have developed a sense ownership on how their lives will turn out knowing that I have been a part of their experience as plebes. I can not guage at this point whether or not I really was successful in making them better people than when they first met me, but I know that they made me a better person after our experience together and for that I will forever be thankful.

Of course, there is this daunting reality of the responsibilities that are set before me. Somehow, I could say that the whole cadet training is geared towards a time when each cadet will realize how much responsibility he will be carrying and the things that he is being prepared for. I am constantly haunted by wrong decisions that I might make that may kill my subordinates. On another end, I am also looking forward to having another person totally depend his life to the decisions that I will make. I guess, that is how the will to lead is developed and somehow, in my short and little experience as a leader inside the country's leading leadership laboratory, my idea of these things is quite good and I am happy for that.

In my personal life, things are becoming more serious. Not that I wasn't too interested in developing my personality before, its just that these days, I am believing that I have a more mature disposition on how things should be in my life. I am 24 years old and I should be thinking maturely. I guess life does come in stages and for my part, I am on that stage when I want my life to have a clear direction.

There are many things that come to me even as I try to compose my thoughts regarding the year that has passed but I guess the more important point in all of it is that I have become a better person and that I learned things that will be useful to me in the future. I think now that for all people, our direction should always be better may it be in little things or in the generaly sense of the the things that we do. I can only say these things for my life and others may not really believe in me, but the point is I am happy with what I have become through the years. I may not be the perfect person but I know I am taking advantage of living the adventure of life.

Today is 16 March 2007 and there will be more wonderful years and with this blog as my witness I can just be thankful to God Almighty for continuously guiding my life. Let's move on to my last year as cadet... Let us keep on praying.... I love you people....